The TRUE meaning of happiness

When you ask people what happiness means to them, most will respond with platitudes like "having a lot of money" or "being loved."

To me, though, the real meaning of happiness runs a whole lot deeper. And if there ever was a definition of the word that captures the true essence of happiness, it would have to be the one below, which I found via a Facebook page a couple of days ago:

"Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like and celebrating it for everything that it is."

The first part of that sentence -- "what you think your life is supposed to look like" -- is simply another way of saying "social pressure."

Many of us think that if we don't live up to societal expectations -- getting married, buying a house, having kids, landing a high-powered job -- we've failed ourselves and our loved ones.

We're constantly comparing ourselves to friends, relatives, neighbors, and coworkers, sometimes trying to emulate their lifestyle just so that we can fit in.

But succumbing to this kind of pressure is a surefire recipe for unhappiness. Compromising your beliefs and values to appease others will only leave you bitter and dissatisfied with your life. Turning your back on the things you love only because others may take exception to them is essentially living on others' terms rather than your own.

Think of it this way: The people who are pressuring you to live or act like them probably don't pay your bills. Chances are they haven't always been there for you when you've needed them. Most likely, they haven't always volunteered to give you a ride, lend you money, or watch your kid. And when you're in your deathbed, they may not be there with you either!

I don't mean to get so morbid. My point is that while people may mean well in giving us advice, they have no right to pressure us into changing, because at the end of the day, the only one whose got your back is YOU, and you should live life the way you feel like it.

As I've stressed in prior posts, people become a little uneasy when someone in the group is a little different -- they don't drink, they're not married, they're a liberal, etc. So what do they do? They attempt to change the individual because doing so validates their own decisions in life. If something is unfamiliar, most people tend to shun it.

Rather than yielding to them, I would urge a person to stick to their guns. If you're happy the way you are, then they're just going to have to live with it. Who said that a person has to take the most conventional approach in everything to be happy? What works for you may not work for someone else and vice-versa.

Embracing your uniqueness -- celebrating all that makes you YOU -- can go a long way toward finding the happiness you seek in life. Don't try to mimic others. They have their own lives to worry about. Do what makes you happy!

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n

Misconceptions about quiet people

Earlier today, I came across a Facebook page that features motivational quotes intended to improve people's moods and enhance their overall self-esteem. Interestingly, I noticed two quotes that focus specifically on quiet people: "Be afraid of quiet people; they're the ones who actually think." "The quietest people have the loudest minds." I've observed that most people's views of quiet individuals can fall under one of two categories: 1. The ones who say quiet people are antisocial, suspicious, snobbish, and/or full of themselves. 2. The people who say their introspective nature and propensity to be deep in thought makes them smarter than their more garrulous peers. The quotes above speak to this mindset. As an introvert known to be quiet at work and at social functions where I might not know anyone, I feel I'm well positioned to dispel any inaccuracies surrounding quiet folks. First of all, the above statements misguidedly put

Understand People

Search This Blog