The more indifferent you are, the more some people care about you

Or so it seems...

Have you noticed that many people only seem to show interest in you when you show little to none in them?

It's like the pendulum has to swing one way or the other. Achieving equilibrium isn't easy, whether we're talking about friendships or relationships.

The key reason why this happens is because human beings not only have a tendency to become complacent in their friendships or relationships, but they often take the other person for granted. Once we see someone willing to bend over backwards for us, we perceive it as weakness and try to exploit that vulnerability as much as we can.

I'm not saying all people do this, but many of us do.

So what happens when you do the opposite -- that is, act indifferent?  The less emotionally invested one person seems to be, the more leverage he or she holds. In other words, he who cares least -- or is perceived as such -- has more power in the relationship.

There's always going to be someone who complains more. When my friends forget to call me at night or they cancel plans at the last minute, I give them hell for it. They, on the other hand, don't seem as perturbed the few times I've done those kinds of things to them -- probably because those occasions have been so few and far between. I suppose I'm more sensitive to other people's actions than vice versa.

The less bothered I seem, though, the more people seem to flock to me and make a genuine effort to rectify their behaviors. Isn't that ironic? The less interested you act in people, the more interest they show in you.

It's almost as if people want to be around you more when you demonstrate that you're happy whether they're in your life or not. Without a doubt, people get turned off by neediness. The second a person knows that you depend on them to be happy, they'll try to use that to their full advantage.

Perhaps this goes back to something many of us should have learned long ago: You should never rely on other people -- friends, family, partners -- to make you happy. The only person who can make you happy is yourself. Others should serve to enhance your already-joyful life. 

Do you know people who are like this? Share your thoughts on the blog or on Google +. Plus, check out other blog entries by clicking here: How to Understand People.

Here's one related post you don't want to miss:

Is indifference the worst kind of punishment?

No comments: