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How important is sex in a marriage or relationship?

This answer will differ depending on who you ask.

People have varying sex drives that are affected by everything from one's energy and stress levels to other responsibilities in our lives, including work, chores, and children.

We've all heard stories where one person in the relationship wants sex much more frequently than the other, causing an imbalance that eventually incites feelings of resentment in the former.

How often a couple has sex depends largely on where it is put on their priority list. I think those who make a concerted effort to have sex, say, once or twice a week, can carve out a few minutes weekly to do so. But sometimes life gets in the way of even the most carefully laid-out plans, and couples have no choice but to leave it for another day.

I think sex isn't the most important facet of a marriage or relationship. After all, as we get older, our relationship or marriage becomes less about passionate sex and more about companionship.

Still, sex matters. It is the most intimate act we can engage in with our partner. If we're not having sex at least occasionally, it can easily start to feel more like a platonic friendship.

That's why it's essential that you and your partner keep an open dialogue on how each of you feels about your sex life. If one person is dissatisfied, whether due to the infrequency of intercourse or a lack of experimentation, he or she should address such feelings in a tactful way. That way, you can work together at getting to the root of the problem. Aside from trust, nothing is more integral to a relationship or marriage than keeping the lines of communication open.

But lashing out at your partner will actually work against you. Nothing kills a person's sex drive faster than being reprimanded for not satisfying his or her partner's needs in the bedroom.

Like everything else in life, a healthy sex life depends on managing one's priorities. Sex should never be the crux of a relationship or marriage -- nor should it be put on the back burner.

To view earlier posts, click here: How to Understand People




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