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If people don't accept you for who you are...

If people take issue with who you are as a person despite the fact that you haven't done anything (that you know of) to deserve such behavior, it says more about them than you. The worst cases are those where the person has a beef with you for some reason, but rather than come out and say it, they ignore or bad-mouth you behind your back. It's these folks whom I characterize as cowardly and dishonest. If they take exception to your liberal views, religious beliefs, choice of career, or range of hobbies, why not be truthful about it? Perhaps the two of you were once close college buddies and over time, you've diverged in your tastes and lifestyle. As a result, your calls and texts seem to go unanswered now when that was never the case before. Or maybe you only met recently at work or at the gym, but something about you rubs them the wrong way -- prompting the individual to avoid you or become visibly distant.  It isn't a stretch to say that sometimes we mischaracterize p...

What to do about TOXIC people in your life

A key reason why so many individuals are toxic is because, put simply, they have no boundaries.  They feel they have nothing to lose by making your life as miserable as they possibly can -- often because their lives are that way. They have little regard for your feelings, perspectives, and opinions, as they deem theirs far superior. If you object to their assertions, prepare to be scorned. Toxic people loathe dissent.  They are often narcissists masquerading as good, humble folks -- that is, until their chameleon tendencies come to light and you realize they have no one's best interests at heart but their own. It's no wonder so many of these mercurial individuals find themselves in top positions in the corporate world. They schmooze their way to the top, and once there, dispense misery upon unsuspecting worker bees, hastening those employees' eventual resignations. Their toxic tendencies extend to their personal relationships as well. Three or more marriages are typical. Th...

Are arguments always bad in a relationship?

When was the last time you fought with your partner? Perhaps it was today, yesterday, or -- if you're lucky -- you might not be able to remember. Nevertheless, some people say that arguments in a relationship ought to be avoided like the plague.  But is this really true? Persistent arguing can, over time, weaken a relationship. The central questions a couple needs to ask themselves are (1) why they're bickering so frequently (2) whether they attempted in earnest to resolve their points of disagreement, or only allowed them to get worse. Perhaps one partner is easily triggered, or both have similarly combative personalities. When you don't have at least one party trying to make peace, things can escalate -- fast.  As long as these arguments unfold naturally -- with neither partner deliberately trying to spark them -- couples can actually leverage the spats to improve the relationship. Many of us would agree that if not for the occasional fight with our partner, we would not ...

Uh-oh: Americans are addicted to THIS

Guess what newly published research has unveiled Americans are addicted to. No, it isn't junk food, Netflix, or mere smartphone use, though I'm sure a case can be made for those! Americans are addicted to tracking packages. Indeed, people have developed an acute obsession for tracking the status of their packages. So much so, that is has become an addiction. According to a new study, 60% of people who make purchases online check their delivery status daily, if not multiple times in a single day. The study even found that over 80% of online shoppers have experienced anxiety when packages fail to arrive on time. Two in three online shoppers look out their window to watch out for deliveries, and 65% of study participants feel delivery tracking has become an addiction, stating that they expect packages to be delivered within three days of ordering. In addition, 57% said package tracking is “very important” to them, while 29% refuse to purchase something online if they can’t track i...

The success of a relationship hinges on this

The success of a relationship depends on both partners supporting and protecting each other's freedom.  Although your lives are intertwined, both of you should retain your individuality, your sense of self. Your identity should not become all wrapped up in the other person. You aren't just a boyfriend or husband. You're your own person -- one with a unique set of values, passions, and attitudes.  While having commonalities enhances the relationship, it's okay -- suggested, even -- to have disparate interests, which can better the relationship in its own right.   Maybe John loves to read and Becky would rather binge on Netflix. Perhaps Tony is a big sports buff while Susan is big on museums and cultural events.  That way, the two of you can always learn something from one another and have something different to contribute to the conversation. And chances are that over time, you one of his/her hobbies may actually grow on you.  To give you an example, my wife...

THESE relationships don't last

Ever been in a relationship where you or your partner weren't wholly invested? I can bet that the relationship probably didn't survive.   Though difficult to discuss at times, the reasons why the partner isn't engaged should be openly communicated. Keeping those feelings bottled up will only breed further bitterness and animosity.  Otherwise, finger pointing and passing blaming will invariably ensue, potentially putting the relationship in serious trouble.  For a relationship to survive -- let alone thrive --it's either all hands on deck, or you can kiss the relationship goodbye.  It goes without saying that relationships are no walk in the park. In the worst cases, they can be emotionally draining, eating away at our happiness and well-being. And when a partner isn't fully committed, it isn't that hard to tell.  They withhold affection, are often combative, and prioritize their needs and wants over their partner's at every turn. When the other partner's...

1 MAJOR dating trap to avoid

When I was young and knew little to nothing about dating, I thought that pouring my heart and soul early on would somehow make the objection of my affection feel similarly toward me. Unfortunately, after a couple of failed attempts, I realized this approach was doing the exact opposite: repelling the girls and landing me in the dreaded friend zone.  Heaping compliments and gifts on someone not long after you've met them communicates -- often unwittingly -- that you're desperate.  Expressing such intense feelings right out of the gate not only puts a world of pressure on the other person, but it gives them little time to get to know you.  No one is going to be head over heels for someone who makes them their universe, who worships the ground they walk on, after only a few dates.  Understandably, they might question how you can be so smitten when you barely know them.  Chances are they won't buy it and will assume you're either trying to woo them into bed or use t...

Did couples become closer or more distant during the pandemic?

The COVID-19 pandemic created ample time for couples to be around each other. Whether that's turned out to be good or bad depends on the individual couple, of course.  Being stuck at home presented plenty of opportunities for pairs to become closer -- or drift further apart than they already were.  Those working at home during the pandemic may have had to tend to kids attending school virtually or elderly parents. That juggling act may have translated into more stress -- whether physical, emotional, mental, financial, or all of the above -- leaving less time and energy for romance.  Those who may have been considering taking a vacation to disconnect from their daily troubles and reconnect with each other were now forced to hole up, potentially igniting arguments over, say, one partner's tendency to put off family trips for years.  Then there are those couples that used the extra time to strengthen their bonds -- by improving communication, trying out new things t...

Did you know THIS can boost your memory and mood?

A lot of us are constantly on the lookout for ways to boost our mental focus. But many of the suggested techniques for doing so -- like listening to classical music -- haven't been borne out by science.  However, research supports the claim that chewing gum -- yes, gum -- offers various cognitive benefits. The mint in gum increases blood flow to your brain, which in turn improves your memory. In fact, studies show that chewing a stick of gum can improve your short-term memory by as much as 35 percent. People performed better on math and verbal problems -- from repeating numbers backwards to solving complex logic puzzles -- and were about 10 percent more alert when chomping away. (It's important to note that after 20 minutes or so, the benefits of gum chewing essentially dissipated.) One reason may have to do with the fact that chewing mint or caffeinated gum has been shown to reduce sleepiness. Eat your heart out, coffee! A mood boost, too, may await you when you chew gum. One ...