Ever been in a relationship where you or your partner weren't wholly invested? I can bet that the relationship probably didn't survive.   Though difficult to discuss at times, the reasons why the partner isn't engaged should be openly communicated. Keeping those feelings bottled up will only breed further bitterness and animosity.  Otherwise, finger pointing and passing blaming will invariably ensue, potentially putting the relationship in serious trouble.  For a relationship to survive -- let alone thrive --it's either all hands on deck, or you can kiss the relationship goodbye.  It goes without saying that relationships are no walk in the park. In the worst cases, they can be emotionally draining, eating away at our happiness and well-being. And when a partner isn't fully committed, it isn't that hard to tell.  They withhold affection, are often combative, and prioritize their needs and wants over their partner's at every turn. When the other partner's...

When I was young and knew little to nothing about dating, I thought that pouring my heart and soul early on would somehow make the objection of my affection feel similarly toward me. Unfortunately, after a couple of failed attempts, I realized this approach was doing the exact opposite: repelling the girls and landing me in the dreaded friend zone.  Heaping compliments and gifts on someone not long after you've met them communicates -- often unwittingly -- that you're desperate.  Expressing such intense feelings right out of the gate not only puts a world of pressure on the other person, but it gives them little time to get to know you.  No one is going to be head over heels for someone who makes them their universe, who worships the ground they walk on, after only a few dates.  Understandably, they might question how you can be so smitten when you barely know them.  Chances are they won't buy it and will assume you're either trying to woo them into bed or use t...

The COVID-19 pandemic created ample time for couples to be around each other. Whether that's turned out to be good or bad depends on the individual couple, of course.  Being stuck at home presented plenty of opportunities for pairs to become closer -- or drift further apart than they already were.  Those working at home during the pandemic may have had to tend to kids attending school virtually or elderly parents. That juggling act may have translated into more stress -- whether physical, emotional, mental, financial, or all of the above -- leaving less time and energy for romance.  Those who may have been considering taking a vacation to disconnect from their daily troubles and reconnect with each other were now forced to hole up, potentially igniting arguments over, say, one partner's tendency to put off family trips for years.  Then there are those couples that used the extra time to strengthen their bonds -- by improving communication, trying out new things t...

A lot of us are constantly on the lookout for ways to boost our mental focus. But many of the suggested techniques for doing so -- like listening to classical music -- haven't been borne out by science.  However, research supports the claim that chewing gum -- yes, gum -- offers various cognitive benefits. The mint in gum increases blood flow to your brain, which in turn improves your memory. In fact, studies show that chewing a stick of gum can improve your short-term memory by as much as 35 percent. People performed better on math and verbal problems -- from repeating numbers backwards to solving complex logic puzzles -- and were about 10 percent more alert when chomping away. (It's important to note that after 20 minutes or so, the benefits of gum chewing essentially dissipated.) One reason may have to do with the fact that chewing mint or caffeinated gum has been shown to reduce sleepiness. Eat your heart out, coffee! A mood boost, too, may await you when you chew gum. One ...

Picture how painful it must be to see the person you love in the arms of another man or woman -- all because you took them for granted. Even though you claim to love them, you may have recognized a tad late that you just never showed it, at least not nearly as much as you should have. Countless people experience this painful reality each and every day, not knowing what they have until it has walked out the door for good. In order to avoid this fate, it's important that we not just talk the talk but walk the walk as well. It pays to spend occasional moments imagining yourself without them -- envisioning your significant other walking out the door, embracing another man or woman, and basically forgetting you ever existed.  While no relationship is perfect -- much like the people in them -- a failure to invest in it can gradually snowball into bitter arguments and corrosive resentment. Shutting off communication is akin to depriving a plant of the water, sunlight, and nutrients it nee...

I feel many people have a misguided sense of what a partner's role should be.  They assume a partner is there to fix their every problem, to complete them.  But this is erroneous thinking and could very well lead the relationship down a dangerous path.  Relationships can promote personal growth and help individuals fulfill their own goals. For example, your partner can help you become a better person by teaching you how to play the guitar; taking you to the local museum to explore immersive exhibits; and opening your eyes to new perspectives, like benefits of eating more veggies and less red meat.  The idea that a relationship can help an individual become a better person is a phenomenon termed self-expansion. Indeed, relationships that provide more expansion are tend to be of higher quality. But this needn't be mistaken with relying on a partner to allay your every concern, resolve your every dilemma, and continually boost your self-esteem.  We need to take res...

Here's a big relationship no-no: Never hook up with Someone who only values your looks, bank account, or both.  I know what you're thinking: With some people, this isn't easy to tell in the beginning being that they can do a great job of masking their real intentions.  For example, you may have once dated someone whose penchant for gold-digging may not have become evident until two years after you began dating. Or, you may not have picked up on your boyfriend's aim to use you for only one thing until after the honeymoon phase passed. Fair enough.  Some individuals can be awfully deceptive. But as soon as they show their true colors, I implore you not to wait until they change (which is unlikely to happen) -- let alone embark to change them yourself. Just end it -- plain and simple -- before you become any more invested.  A partner worth keeping is one who covets what lies beneath more than they do the superficial. And that's because what lies deep within is what mak...

There is no doubt that we are living in an increasingly digital world, and the pandemic has only accelerated this trend.  Sometimes I muse about whether kids in the future will even feel the need to shop at stores, dine at restaurants, attend college, or watch movies in person. For starters, we can do most of our shopping on Amazon.  And why spend time waiting for a table at a restaurant when you can have the meal delivered in less than 30 minutes via Uber Eats or DoorDash?  Then there's movies. No need to trek to the theater when you can save a few bucks by waiting a month or two for the movie to be made available on Amazon Prime or Netflix.  College students needn't leave their homes in order to get a college education as many institutions of higher learning now offer fully online degrees.  And a growing number of employers are now allowing their employees to work from home -- a trend that isn't necessarily going away post-pandemic.  Chances are there's a...

Experiencing something -- the savory taste of a pepperoni pizza, the sound of gentle waves lapping sugary white sand -- can be an utter delight to the senses.  But according to studies, the experience actually pales in comparison to the anticipation of that experience.  Here are just a few examples: 1. Planning and looking forward to a vacation vs. actually being there. 2. Planning to buy clothes, a car, or other items compared to consuming them.  3. Picturing yourself eating a hearty meal (especially on an empty stomach and/or while watching a restaurant ad) vs actually eating it.  Dopamine, commonly considered the happiness or "feel good" chemical, is more involved in the anticipation of an event or feeling than in the actual feeling of happiness. Often, the experience falls short of what we imagined, whether because it rains on the trip, the food leaves us with gas, or we get buyers' remorse for something we later discover we could have bought elsewhere for much c...