If I asked what you thought to be an attractive attribute in a person -- one that doesn't get as much recognition as it merits -- what would you say? While everyone's taste varies, I'd say that intelligence -- a trait that, in my estimation, makes someone much more attractive and likeable -- tends to gets the shaft.  Check out online dating profiles and you'll see that people state they are looking for someone who embodies these characteristics: Sweet Fun Funny  Adventurous  Romantic  Kind Affectionate Faithful Honest Communicative While these are all great qualities to possess in their own right, why is intelligence not a more highly desired trait? The truth of the matter is that there are probably a lot more people who long for brains than they let on -- just as there are probably more chubby chasers in the world than we think. However, society has brainwashed many people into equating intelligence with nerdiness. And when they t...

What do you absolutely love to do? You know, the kinds of things into which you'd happily plunge yourself 60 hours a week -- for FREE -- if you could. Most of us find ourselves with more time to spare as we work from home during this coronavirus pandemic. In my case, I'm happily pouring myself into my writing and allocating time for reading my history and psychology books -- many of which have been collecting dust on my shelf for years. An avid history and architecture buff, I've also been catching episodes of Museum Secrets, You Live In What?, and Travel Thru History -- all outstanding shows I highly recommend. Because my employer isn't all that gung-ho about letting people work from home, I am poised to capitalize on this rare opportunity to enjoy these activities in the comfort of home. Think about your deepest passions and how you can incorporate them into your work-from-home routine. Maybe you can squeeze in a morning walk with your dog, a painting ...

Today is most certainly a gift. That's why they call it the present.  Yesterday is in the past and cannot be changed. Tomorrow has yet to arrive. While we can plan for the future in certain ways, we'll never be in control of it entirely. All we have is the present moment to shape our lives in whatever ways we see fit. Right now, the present seems a little bleak because of the coronavirus pandemic we're all grappling with. But as I advised in my last posts, there are myriad things we can do with the additional downtime -- from enjoying existing hobbies or cultivating new ones to striving toward goals like learning a new language or how to play a musical instrument. American composer Irving Berlin said that life is 10 percent what you make it, and 90 percent how you take it. In other words, we spend the bulk of our lives responding to events over which we have little control. And the rest of it really depends on us. We're responding to this health crisi...

Those who have been on a lengthy quest to find Mr. or Ms. Right without success probably thought it was hard enough already. But now that they're being forced indoors due to the coronavirus, they find their possibilities even more limited. So what are they to do? If you're already dating someone, talking on the phone and exchanging texts can certainly get old after a while. But no one says you can't have ANY in-person contact. You could arrange to have dinner at either person's house. Maybe the host can cook, and next time you meet at the other's place. Or, you could just spring for delivery and cap off the night with a good movie. There's also the option of taking a walk around the neighborhood (so long as you practice social distancing from others). So, that works for those who've recently begun dating, but what about people whose little black book is, well, empty? That's easy: They can take to online dating sites. Even if they've...

. Introverts like me feel like we've been prepared for an event like the coronavirus virtually our entire lives. Under normal circumstances, we consciously seek out solitude in order to clear our minds and recharge our batteries -- especially after dealing with people for hours on end. Now, alone time has been thrust upon us. It's as if social distancing were tailor-made for introverts the world over. While extroverts, who thrive on social interaction, might regard having to stay at home for weeks or months as an unwelcome disruption in their lives, introverts are receiving it with open arms. We thrive on written communication. We relish alone time. We thrill at the opportunity to enjoy solitary pursuits. That's not to suggest we're misanthropes who loathe people and would gladly barricade ourselves in our homes if given the opportunity. We enjoy social interaction -- just in smaller doses, and with fewer people. In fact, introverts are known to become q...

The last few weeks have felt surreal, haven't they? I've never experienced anything like this Coronavirus pandemic in my life, and I'm sure many of you second that sentiment. While the most important thing we can do right now is keep ourselves and our families safe and healthy, many are already starting to chafe of cabin fever. They complain of feeling isolated and disconnected from the world in a way they never have before. Chances are, you've already worked from home for a few days. Such an arrangement has its share of pros and cons. Sure, you can work in your undees, spend more time with family, and not have to grapple with traffic. But some people just aren't as self-motivated as others, and without a boss a few feet away to keep them focused on their work, they become easily distracted -- whether by their kids clamoring to play, the cat meowing for food, or the temptation to watch The Price is Right. And while we can still do takeout and deliver...

Relationships can take us to the heights of passion and the depths of despair. There are days we look at our partner and ask ourselves how we got so lucky. Then there are occasions where we can't stand to be in their presence, if temporarily. Nevertheless, relationships entail taking the good with the bad. It doesn't mean you have to settle for less, or let the other person get away with everything. Nor does it mean expecting them to be flawless or of like mind in every way. Here are two musts in order for a relationship to be successful: 1. Appreciating each other's similarities.  Maybe you're both rabid football fans, hardcore comic book geeks, or the biggest Beatles fans anywhere. Or perhaps you're both optimistic, financially responsible, or averse to rollercoasters. There's no question that in order for the relationship to run smoothly, both partners should have some overlapping interests, fears, views, or all of the above. Otherwise, yo...

Be leery of someone you're dating who tries to cajole you into moving much faster than you're comfortable with. If someone is worth your while, they would never pressure you into doing anything -- whether it's sleeping going on a trip to a faraway island by yourselves, or tying the knot -- before you feel you're ready for that major step. If they can't respect your wishes, too bad! They're more than welcome to move on and find someone who similarly desires to move at blazing speed. That's not you. No, you refuse to betray your values and principles, whether that means waiting until marriage to be intimate or not wanting to give into the other person's desire to move to another state together after dating for a mere two months. You'd be right to question why he or she seems intent on moving at breakneck speed. Does he just want to use you? Is she looking to use you for your money until she gets back on her feet? Is he on the rebound, aiming to use you...

Some people don't appreciate all the things you do for them until you cease doing them at all. They end up learning the hard way that they didn't know what they had until it vanished from their life. And, by then, it's probably too late. No one wishes to be taken for granted. Yet, many people don't live their life by the motto, "Treat others as you would want to be treated." Some people just grow accustomed to others' nice gestures -- whether it's getting a call from them every week or a surprise visit every month -- and it doesn't occur to them that maybe they should return the favor every now and then. Relationships aren't just about giving, but receiving as well. They take turns scratching ones another's backs. One person should not be carrying the load on their own, contributing a disproportionate amount of time and energy. You should never feel embarrassed to address how you feel you're efforts aren't acknowledged...