You're not perfect. But neither am I. No one is. Give yourself credit from time to time for all you've accomplished. You've come a long way. You've overcome a slew of obstacles that life has thrown at you. Your life may not be perfect, but keep in mind that there is no such thing as the perfect life. If you can say that you look forward to the next day, and that each day consists of a handful of smiles and laughs coupled with special moments in the presence of people you love, you're doing far better than many out there. Cultivate self-compassion. Don't beat yourself up over past mistakes. Learn from them and move on. Don't blame yourself for relationships gone awry. While you may be at fault in some respects, a relationship requires that both people commit time and energy. It may be that they weren't pulling their weight like you assume they were. There's nothing wrong with continually trying to improve ourselves by setting new goals. ...

The reason we expect so much from people is because we would be willing to do that much for them. Unfortunately, though, reality doesn't always align with our expectations. And therein lies the problem: We have a tendency to anticipate that people will think and act like us in a given situation. When they fail to do so, however, we feel let down, if not betrayed. As painful as it can be, our partner, relatives. and close friends will not always act in our best interest. This could happen for a variety of reasons: They put themselves (or even someone else) before you. They don't realize just how much being there really means to you. Life gets in the way.  The important thing is not to take it personally, and the best way to do that is by not having unrealistically high expectations in the first place.  That's not to say that you shouldn't ask others for help when you need it, especially when you've been there for them. And it doesn't mean ...

Whether it's someone who's already in a relationship, a job for which we didn't make the shortlist, or an item we want that never seems to be in stock anywhere we look, human beings want the unobtainable -- that which is difficult (if not impossible) to make ours. Why does this happen? We assign a higher value to things and people that we deem as being in high demand. If something is too easy to snag, we're led to believe that no one else wants it, so we'd be settling for less by making it our choice. Is it any wonder that stores are able to lure customers with advertisements that say "available for a limited-time" and "while supplies last"? Are those products really in short supply? My guess would be no -- at least not all the time. Retailers capitalize on the fact that people have an aversion to feeling left out. The thought of someone else possessing an item they want for themselves drives people to shell out their money, often in la...

People needn't search far and wide to find happiness, for it is found in the simplest of things. Unfortunately, many people equate happiness with money and material possessions. While such "stuff" can give us a boost, it is only temporary. When it's time for us to pass on, will we be thinking about all the money we've spent or have saved in our bank account? No. Our thoughts will center on the legacy we'll be leaving behind, on the wonderful moments spent with loved ones, on the little things that made this life well worth living. Happiness can be found: in love in friendship in a smile in a laugh in having good health in reading in knowledge and learning in music in gratitude  in a good meal or cup of coffee in a kept promise in an achieved goal in a fond memory in nature in silence in the comfort of one's room If people actually stopped to appreciate all the wonderful things that greatly enrich their lives, they would be fa...

How do you know if someone is on the rebound? A person might be considered on the rebound if he or she becomes involved in a serious relationship that shortly follows the ending of a previous one. And if the person was dumped -- especially if they never saw it coming -- it only amplifies feelings of wanting to get with someone new to get their mind off the whole ordeal. If you are dating someone who is rebounding, you may question if he or she is capable of emotional attachment or if you are, instead, simply a substitute for love that was lost. It can be especially hurtful when you sense that the person you're with isn't entirely over their ex. They might bring him or her up in conversations, whether they're mentioning how terrible the ex was or, even worse, comparing you both ("John was so much tidier than you are.") You may also take notice of the fact that they continue to hold on to and revisit photo albums, cards, and gifts that the ex gave them...

Stop what you're doing for a moment. Take a deep breath. Put a smile on your face. Tell yourself these words: "It's going to be okay." You've come too far in your life to give up. Whether you're healing from wounds of your past or stressing over the question marks in your future, remind yourself that true happiness lies in making the most of the present. Things will get better over time. If you're mired in relationship, health, or money struggles, rest assured that the worst storms often give way to much sunnier days. Never feel afraid to reach out -- whether to friends, family, a professional (or even to me) for a helping hand. I know that sometimes being positive is easier said than done. Just when we think we've come out of a hole, life seems to put us into a deeper one. But resigning ourselves to the opposite state of mind -- negativity -- will only serve to exacerbate the depression or anxiety we're already feeling. As long a...

Conventional wisdom holds that if you do someone a favor, that person is bound to like you more. However, research has revealed something entirely different: If you do someone a favor, it is you who will like that person more as a result.  But how can this be? The reason is that we justify our actions to ourselves by assuming that we did the person the favor because, well, we really like them. This phenomenon is called the Ben Franklin effect . Franklin once quipped, "He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than he whom you yourself have obliged." Legend has it that Franklin, a Founding Father and renowned scientist, leveraged this discovery to win the favor of a rival Pennsylvania legislator by asking the legislator to lend him a rare book and then showering him with gratitude. It worked like a charm. According to Franklin,"When we next met in the House, he spoke to me (which he had never done before), and with great civ...

There's something to be said for those who embrace their uniqueness wholeheartedly, impervious to pressure from other people to subscribe to the so-called herd or pack mentality so many fall victim to. Unfortunately, fake people want others to be fake just like them, even if it calls for turning one's back on the very principles, beliefs, and interests that make them who they are. For some, the need to be liked overwhelms their desire to project their most authentic selves to the world, prompting them to act in ways that, deep down, may feel wholly unnatural to them. This may impact everything from their style of dress and political views to their choice of hobbies. Never allow yourself to be ensnared by those seeking to "convert" people into carbon copies of themselves -- all to inflate their egos and compensate for their insecurities. Follow your true passions. Pursue whatever career calls out to you. Hold fast to your beliefs and core principles. Do not b...

We all have dreams that may seem like a longshot to other people, whether it be starting a business, publishing a book, or traveling the world. But should others' opinions really get in the way of our hopes and aspirations? Absolutely not! When people doubt you and go as far as to say you won't achieve something, take the utmost pleasure in trying to prove them wrong. Don't allow their skepticism to make you question your abilities; instead, let it fuel your passion and drive even further. As long as we believe in ourselves, work tirelessly, and continue to fight for what we want despite the odds being stacked against us, we have a shot. In life, we won't really know unless we try. And even if it turns out that we come up a bit short, it doesn't mean we've failed. It just means life has different -- and better -- plans in store. There will always be those who dismiss our plans as mere pipe dreams. Don't listen to these folks, for they're li...