How to Read People

Has COVID brought the dating market to its knees?  Not quite, although, as one would suspect, people are trying to balance staying healthy and safe with keeping their love lives from going full-on rusty. But there's no question that, with many businesses ground to a halt and crowd-attracting events nixed indefinitely, it limits opportunities to meet and connect with people.  Social distancing and reduced capacity limits in restaurants, movie theaters, and other venues where you might ordinarily strike up a conversation with someone doesn't exactly lend itself to romance.  Thankfully, with the rollout of vaccines, we may finally be turning the corner, as deaths and cases have been dropping sharply in recent weeks.  Just because we are still in the middle of a pandemic doesn't mean you can't go on dates, but you should insist that whoever you meet get tested, as he or she may ask you as well. It isn't as if meeting in a quiet restaurant, mall, or park is all bad. Thin...

How many times have you encountered someone who's tried to push their beliefs on you, making you feel as though they'll cast you out should you dissent? I am here to tell you one thing: You need no one's validation but your own!  Really, who says others are cool and you're not? Who determines that your way is wrong and there's isn't? Why should you have to defer to others on matters of style? If society frowns upon some of your lifestyle choices simply because they're not in step with what everyone else does -- say, your decision to abstain from drinking or your reluctance to attend late-night parties -- so be it.  Be yourself! There is nothing wrong with being your most unique, individual self. As long as you love and are being true to yourself -- and you're not hurting anyone in the process -- why should your methods be deemed incorrect? If people feel so insecure as to consider no one else's perspective but their own, that's their problem. Whe...

Has anyone ever told you you're the only one for them -- that they vow to be faithful to you for the rest of your lives -- only to turn around and cheat on you? Few things could be as devastating.  Imagine that: Someone who you envisioned spending the rest of your life with shattering your trust so egregiously. The fact of the matter is that they were never being sincere about how they felt. Because when someone truly loves you, they wouldn't dare jeopardize the bond you share -- let alone by cheating. And none of these count as justifiable: Drinking too much Being stressed at work Being seduced  Feeling unhappy in the relationship  You don't go around canoodling with other men or women when something is awry in the relationship or, more generally, in your life. You make your partner aware of it so they can help you. You communicate. You discuss your options.  If you see the relationship as no longer bringing you fulfillment, you either agree to seek counseling with ...

Who ever thought that this, of all things, would be so integral to a more fulfilling life? I speak of gratitude -- making the most of what one has rather than yearning for the best and most of everything.  And gratitude boils down to perspective, one's way of seeing the world.  Some people see an old plate and others see the very thing that holds the nutritious food they're blessed to have. Some people see a rickety car and someone else sees the very thing that keeps them from having to take to the bus or walk long distances, sometimes into sketchy neighborhoods. Some people see a cramped apartment they can't wait to flee from while others see a roof over their heads -- a home where they can spend time and create memories with family. Here are just a few of the ways society prevents us from experiencing true happiness: By telling us to buy the next best and biggest thing, even if we're happy with the one we have -- whether it's a phone, car, or house  By persuading...

The two most consequential decisions you'll ever make in your life concern your choice of career and your choice of partner. Many of us happen to make these decisions in earnest -- at least for the first time -- when we're fairly young and lacking in life experience.  Perhaps we're just out of high school and we decide on law or pre-med as a major while embarking on a new relationship with someone who ostensibly has "long-term potential" written all over them. As we well know, though, life gives us many different twists and turns, sometimes veering us in directions we never could have imagined.  Events such as these can affect our life trajectory: Going away for college A death in the family  A break-up Switching jobs or careers  Layoffs Starting a business Moving to a new city  Getting married Having kids Illness  But there's no doubt that the decisions we make in our professional and love lives figure prominently in our life satisfaction, or lack thereof....