How to Read People

While you might think living a happy life should involve no shortage of bells and whistles -- fancy cars, big houses, a wide circle of relationships -- people can find joy and contentment in things that may not cost much (if anything at all). Here are three tips for finding pockets of happiness in daily life: 1. Live simply. Sure, who doesn't like being a nice car, watch, or pair of shoes every so often? While treating ourselves to something nice is a good thing -- we do, after all, work hard for it -- we should never depend on material stuff to make us happy, much like we shouldn't turn to human beings for fulfillment. Aim to appreciate the little things in life that bring us joy -- a beautiful sunset, a hot cup of coffee, a game of fetch with the dog. These are things that require little to no money and leave us feeling better. Some people feel happiness eludes them, but there's happiness to be found in the simplest of things. 2. Love generously. What better f...

Given that Thursday marked Thanksgiving Day in the U.S., it made the perfect occasion to take a moment and acknowledge the efforts of the special people in our lives who show they genuinely care for us -- whether it be our parents, partner, close friends, and/or co-workers. (Yet, this should be done over the course of the entire year, not just one day of the year.) As we well know, one thing is to profess you care, and another is to show it. Showing it means going out of your way -- inconveniencing yourself, if you will -- for other people. It means putting someone atop your priority list every so often, even though you have a slew of things you still need to tend to. It means being there when someone needs you, even if it's just via text or by phone. It means that you don't just surface on the person's birthday.  Real relationships are about putting into them what you get out of them .  Those who care aren't only thinking about what they can extract f...

We all know of someone -- whether a friend, teacher, neighbor, or acquaintance -- who has cheated on their partner. Maybe they cheated on someone you're close to, or perhaps you've cheated on a significant other yourself and have vowed never to be unfaithful again. Unfortunately, I often find that in such cases of infidelity, the guilty party doesn't immediately take responsibility for what they did and give their partner the time and space they need to sort out their feelings. Instead, they become defensive (if not combative), trying to come up with reasons why they should be let off the hook. When the victim asks to be left alone, the cheater may heap apology after apology, refusing to take no for an answer. Nothing in the world could justify cheating on a partner. It is the most egregious form of betrayal one can carry out -- the ultimate breach of trust someone has placed in you. Not surprisingly, cheaters try to dream up every excuse in the book to justify th...

A person may like you, but that doesn't necessarily mean they value you. So what's the difference? Someone can like you and still take you for granted, treat you with disdain, and run the relationship into the ground.  In other words, whether a person likes you or not says nothing about their willingness to invest in and commit to the relationship. One can like that someone possesses certain attributes -- whether ambition, a sense of humor, integrity, or loyalty -- and still not value them as a person. Take cheaters. Do you really think that people who cheat on their partners don't like them? On the contrary, despite their transgressions, many assert that they love and would do anything for their significant others! However, the mere fact they would even entertain the idea of cheating demonstrates they don't value the person in the slightest. If they did, they would know to put on the brakes and not risk jeopardizing the relationship. We also see this ...

The worst type of pain is not inflicted by the people we can't stand (i.e, our "enemies"), but by the people we care about the most. For example, if you haven't been able to stand your boss from day one, the fact that he was a rude jerk today probably doesn't come as a surprise. The same goes for meddling in-laws, the persistent bully at school, or the obnoxious neighbor who's never rubbed you the right way. Yet, when our partner, trusted friend of 20 years, or doting relative does us wrong, it can be devastating. We might feel as though we've been hit by a train moving at breakneck speed.  Imagine finding out that your boyfriend has been cheating on you for years. Or that your closest friend has been spreading rumors about you to others within your circle. Or, picture discovering that your coworker has been taking credit for your ideas at work.  We never see this deception coming when it concerns people in whom we have placed our tru...