How to Read People

Whether you're dating or friends with a quiet, unassuming person, never coax him into changing -- it's that simple. If you're simply not content with the person's personality, do yourselves a favor and part ways amiably. Press the other person too much to change and it can build feelings of resentment. The bottom line is this: We aren't wired in the same way--nor are we always inclined to change our temperament to appease others. It simply isn't fair to expect someone to reengineer her personality to your liking. In a friendship or relationship, we should accept people for who they are-- flaws and all.

Since I graduated from college, I've met only one co-worker that I've clicked with enough to consider a friend. In fact, we even met up outside of work a few times for drinks, to attend ballgames, etc. A few years after I left the company, both of us married our sweethearts, which means we hardly see each other anymore. (She invited me to her wedding, and I invited her to mine.) I have been in the workforce now for almost 10 years and have only been able to forge one friendship. The fact of the matter is that it isn't always easy for a work relationship to morph into a friendship. People may not gel well together because of age, interests, or priorities. Sometimes you don't know whom you can trust; if the friendship goes awry, it can create a certain awkwardness in the workplace. Also, we may act differently away from the workplace than we do within the confines of a cubicle, thus making us reluctant to expose that side of our personality to someone we work with i...

Music can indeed enhance relationships, and I'll tell you how. Let's say you and your wife are in the car looking for a good song on the radio. You suddenly come across a station playing a song that first came out the year you both met. This brings back memories of a special time in your life journey together. Though most people break out the photo album when wishing to recollect special moments in their lives, songs, too, can say a thousand words. They uplift, inspire, excite, and entertain us. I frequently play songs on my iPod that remind me of high school, as they were released during those 4 years. The same goes for ones that came out around the time I was pulling all nighters for college courses. That's the beauty of songs -- they're not only for dancing or easy listening, but they also connect us to the past.  And when you and your partner listen to songs together that conjure up great memories, it not only puts you both in a better mood, but it positivel...

If you were to ask someone what the worst thing his friend or partner could do to jeopardize a friendship or relationship, what would he likely say? Aside from obvious things like stealing or physically harming the person, he'd probably cite lying as something that could very well derail the relationship. When someone lies to us, we feel betrayed. Simply put, it's a breach of trust, and once lying becomes a habit, we begin to question whether we can confide in the person or should even trust her moving forward. I've occasionally caught friends in a lie. Thankfully, they've been what we generally call "white lies," but it can be bothersome to know that some of the people you trust most in this world could at times be dishonest. When you catch someone lying to you, don't seek revenge by doing the same thing to him or her. Two wrongs never make a right! Just approach the person and -- respectfully, but firmly -- tell her that if the two of you are to ...

Just as I've noted that cementing friendships with genuine, caring people is not easy to do, finding trustworthy co-workers is just as challenging. How do you know whom you can trust in the workplace? That's the 6-million dollar question. I have found that most people act like your pal and before you know it they're talking smack behind your back or someone else's. As soon as someone comes over to gossip about someone else, I know never to confide in that individual, as he or she is just as likely to do it to me. I resist all temptation to gossip because not only is it unfair to the person being targeted (since they can't defend themselves), but who knows if the person I gossip to is going to rat me out? Tread lightly in the world of office politics, and don't be cajoled into saying things behind one's back. It may come back to haunt you.