Skip to main content

Without this, a relationship may be in deep trouble

Couple together

Studies show that fewer positive non-verbal behaviors exchanged between you and your partner-- including smiling, leaning in, a pat on the back, and a wink -- may portend trouble in your relationship. Indeed, "how" you say something appears to reveal more than "what" you say. 

Chances are, you've heard over the years that most communication is nonverbal, and this study bears that out.

An analysis of the predictive power of non-verbal and verbal behaviors demonstrated that positive non-verbal behaviors predict higher relationship satisfaction later on. 

This should come as no surprise. After all, people can conceal their true motives and feelings by lying (verbal), but it isn't as easy to fake their body language (nonverbal). Our gestures (or lack thereof) and overall posture tend to give away whether we're feeling happy and engaged or bored and dissatisfied. If few to no positive non-verbal behaviors are evident, it likely suggests a fissure in the relationship. 

We've all witnessed positive non-verbal behaviors on dates or interviews (e.g., wide smiles, open palms, a touching of the arm) that have led us to believe that a job offer or second date is clearly in the offing.  It doesn't mean we're right 100% of the time, but as I alluded to earlier, non-verbal cues are often the best way to gauge whether someone is genuinely into you. 

Further, we might show someone we care by giving them a hug, cuddling up with them, or smiling at them. By some estimates, non-verbal behaviors account for 60% of communication, with 30% alone attributed to the tone we use. This means that words aren't as significant as some people make them out to be. 

In the healthiest relationships, a person's words, body language, and actions are all in harmony. If one is incongruent with the rest, it means the person isn't being entirely forthcoming about how they feel or what they intend to do.

Trust, honesty, and open communication undergird those relationships that are poised to last. Without these essential pillars, two individuals may find themselves on the road to breakup or divorce in short order. 

It isn't to say that a dearth of nonverbal cues spells the end for sure, but per the research, it may signal that problems may manifest down the road.

To be fair, some partners are more expressive than others. But if you find that yours never smiles and persistently exhibits closed body language/posture, you may want to get to the bottom of it. Ironically, sometimes what isn't said counts more than what is. 

To what extent does your partner provide non-verbal cues and support? Do you do the same? If not, it could indicate a relationship beginning to lose steam.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Women vs. Men: Who likes to backstab more?

Whether it's on TV or in the workplace, the general consensus seems to be that women gossip, backstab, and stir up more conflict than men do. But, as with every other topic, I thought it only fair to put this so-called stereotype under the microscope. If you watch reality shows like Celebrity Apprentice, you'll notice it's the women who spend far more time bickering. While the men do at times become embroiled in tit for tat, it's the women who are portrayed as meaner and more hostile. In the workplace, I have noticed that women seem to gossip far more than their male counterparts. I haven't really seen any cases where a person blatantly backstabs the other, but I have caught both men and women in little white lies. If it is true that women are generally more into backstabbing and gossiping than men, why is this the case? I believe that it isn't fair to make a blanket statement like "all women play these games while all men keep to themselves and pre...
1 comment
Read More

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...
6 comments
Read More

Men prefer to marry brunettes

Study after study shows that men prefer blondes as girlfriends or mistresses and brunettes as wives . It seems many men see brunettes as more trustworthy and loyal. What's more, even though participants claimed that blondes are better in bed, they feel brunettes are better kissers and more affectionate than blondes. I find these results to be rather interesting. In my high school and early college days, I actually had a preference for blondes myself -- that is, until I hooked up with my now-wife. From that point on, I deemed brunettes as more attractive and marriage material, probably because they reminded me of and more closely resembled her. I think we can blame Hollywood, shows like Baywatch, and Playboy for painting blondes as wild, big chested, promiscuous and loose. (Yes, I know that there are brunettes in Playboy, but they seem to be in the minority.) When someone tells a man to think of an attractive blonde, who do you think likely crosses his mind? More likely than...
Post a Comment
Read More