Doing this is essential to securing a happy life

The pressure society places on us to change can be quite intense.

Commercials encouraging us to whip ourselves into shape so that we can look like runway supermodels.

Friends goading us to nix our career dreams in favor of safe, lucrative professions -- from law to medicine -- in which we may have zero interest.

Co-workers pressuring us to talk more since our quiet disposition puts them ill at ease.

This can all make us quite tempted to fundamentally change our personality and interests -- to curry favor with others, to win their approval.

What these ads and individuals don't tell you is that changing who you are is antithetical to a happy life.

If anything, it's a recipe for adverse physical and emotional health outcomes, potentially leading to anything from eating disorders to anxiety or depression.

Do realize that marketers and the people in your own life all have an agenda.

The former are trying to appeal to your emotions so as to get you to part with your hard-earned cash.

The latter may simply be looking for an ego boost ("ha, I got him to change!"), a way to validate their own beliefs/opinions, or a method for grappling with their own disquieting insecurities.

Accepting you who you are -- the real, most authentic version of yourself -- is paramount if you are to secure happiness.

That means silencing the voices around you by firmly reminding yourself of your gifts, talents, passions, and principles. It means remembering that those pushing you to steer in a different direction aren't paying your bills and likely do not have your best interests in mind.

Do not take the bait.

There is nothing wrong with receiving well-meaning tips and suggestions. Some might actually serve you well.

But if you're being needled into becoming a version of yourself you know deviates from your core principles -- from the values that make you who you are -- you must resist.

At the end of the day, no one else has a right to tell you what constitutes a happy life. We determine that for ourselves.

Comments

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

An important note to women about men and attraction

I was raised by my mom, grandma, and two older sisters. Growing up, never did I ever take any interest in the girls at school who tended toward exposing more skin. I always treated them as I would my female family members -- with the utmost courtesy and respect. And anytime I suspected that a male friend or acquaintance of mine adopted a hump-and-dump attitude toward women, I nixed them from my life. I held men who treated women as objects in very low regard, and still do to this day. If women feel empowered to show off their bodies because they love and work hard on their physique, more power to them. In other words, if they're doing it to please THEMSELVES and no one else, good for them. However, those who do it specifically to curry men's favor are making a big mistake. It sends the wrong signals and actually makes it less likely that a man will want to stick around for a committed relationship (if that's what you want as anyway). Granted, if you're not lookin...

How To Understand People

Search This Blog