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Don't let others dictate your happiness


How often have you acted against your own instincts just to secure someone's approval?

How frequently do you allow others' idea of happiness become your own?

You're not in the minority if you concede you've done the above more times than you could count. 

Indeed, we tend to assign a disproportionate amount of weight to other people's opinions and judgments, leaving us sulking when we feel we've failed to meet their expectations.

But it's important to remind ourselves whose validation ultimately matters. That's right, our own.

It's not to say that your sister's opinion, neighbor's suggestion, or co-workers feedback should be discounted entirely. Other people's input can certainly give a us a feel for how others approach a given situation given their unique life experiences. 

But if we're not careful, we may become so dependent on their two cents that they're the ones who will be in the driver's seat of our lives. You wouldn't cede control of your car to the passenger while you're behind the wheel, would you? 

Instead, our decisions should be informed by our personal experiences and gut instincts. The expectations we should strive to meet are the ones we set for ourselves. 

Whether you're deciding whether to have one kid or two, how you should redecorate your kitchen, which car to buy, or what career to pursue, never allow others to impose their will on you. 

Even well-intentioned folks may think they know what will make you happy, but have they ever stepped in your shoes? 

For example, a parent may prod his son to become a doctor because that's the path he took and it worked out nicely for him. But just because a field promises to be lucrative and in demand doesn't mean a person will be happy doing it for 40 or more hours per week.

Or, you might be certain that your available bachelor of a message therapist will make the perfect match for your cousin, but she's the ultimate arbiter on that. 

Be wary of people who furtively want to live vicariously through you in hopes of achieving certain things they've been unable to do themselves, boosting their own ego, or cementing their legacy. 

People can advise you on what path to take, but at the end of the day, you're responsible for blazing your own trail. 

The recipe for your happiness can only be concocted by you. 

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