It can be soul-sucking when someone in whom we've invested a great deal of time, energy, and -- more importantly, trust -- lets us down.
But all it shows is that no matter how well we think we know someone -- no matter how strongly we believe we have a firm sense of their true character and motivations -- they can deceive us at any point in time.
Here are three signs someone is only pretending to be your friend:
1. They talk behind your back. They're two-faced, saying good things about you when in your presence but doing the exact opposite when you're not around. This signals that they not only disvalue your trust, but also your loyalty.
2. They only seem to surface when they need you.
If you get a call or text from this individual, they need money, a cable jump, or some other favor. Being the good friend that you are, you're always happy to oblige.
But when you need them, they're nowhere to be found. It demonstrates selfishness and a complete lack of empathy.
Indeed, true friends don't take one another for granted. They scratch one another's back. They're there to celebrate the highs and and weather the lows together.
3. They vanish into thin air while in a relationship.
Your friend becomes noticeably harder to reach everytime they hook up with someone. You've gone from talking once or twice a week to once every few months, if you're lucky. Not to mention you tend to be the one to initiate contact.
But if and when that relationship fails, voila! They suddenly reappear, eager to catch up, hit up the movie theater, and resume other activities you enjoyed together before he she ventured off into the sunset with their love bunny.
While friends are supposed to be there to support one another through tough times (see #2), it isn't fair to expect anyone to remain at one's beck and call. There's no reason why someone couldn't take the time to connect with a close friend at least occasionally, even while in a relationship.
Even a quick text or call counts. But by putting friends on the back burner, one risks seeing those friendships wither away. Indeed, if the relationship founders, there may be no friends around to provide consolation.
In sum, you should remain wary of friends who exhibit any of the behaviors laid out above. Because while you're giving the friendship all you've got, your so-called buddy may not value you as highly as you think.
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