You can't control people's loyalty

No matter how nice and accommodating you may be toward friends and family, you can't control their loyalty towards you.

Never expect that just because you act a certain way toward someone, they'll immediately turn around and reciprocate.

In a perfect world, everyone would be disposed to scratching our back when we scratch theirs, but there are no guarantees in life.

Some people are takers far more than they are givers. They're out to benefit themselves and pay little attention to the plight of those they have the audacity to call a friend or loved one.

Especially telling is when they vanish into thin air upon learning that someone needs help.

A good person sticks by through thick and thin.

Of course, we all have obligations -- work, children, community service, and the like -- that may prevent us from getting as deeply involved as we'd like.

But if we're fed every excuse in the book for why a person can never be there for us, it starts to feel disingenuous after a while.

People make time for what and whom they truly value. That begs the question: Do they value it because it's near and dear to their heart, or because they're deriving more benefits from it than they are other relationships in their lives?

There's nothing wrong with benefiting from the relationship as long as it's mutual. If only one person is reaping the benefits, it becomes one-sided, leaving the other feeling as if they're being taken advantage of.

Both parties should take turns giving advice. Both should remember one another's birthday. Both should respect each other's beliefs and attitudes. Both should speak and listen, not just the former.

There's absolutely no place for selfishness in a friendship or relationship. If it's all about them, you're much better off putting the kibosh on that relationship and focusing on people who actually deserve your time.

If people aren't loyal to you, why should you be loyal to them?