One BIG dating mistake people make

One of the biggest mistakes people can make when dating is disclosing too early how they feel about the other person.

Here are a few examples:

Saying "I love you" after only a couple of dates
Pouring out one's soul about their feelings after a short period of time
Giving the person compliments that both people know are undeserved

Whether you feel this strongly about the person or not, it's never wise to tip your hand so early in the game. Why? Well, where's the mystery in that?

All those things that lead to a full-fledged relationship -- attraction, feelings, love -- take time to build. Nature has to take its course; things can't be forced or rushed.

When a person professes his love after one or two dates, it reeks of desperation and can lead his date to question his motives.

There's something to be said for leaving the other person guessing, at least in the very beginning. A bit of mystery creates intrigue and leaves the other yearning to learn more. Besides, you each want to take some time to vet the other. Dating gives you the opportunity to do just that.

I'm not saying that putting all your cards on the table so quickly can't ever work, but the chances are slim to nil.

When human beings know they can get something without breaking much of a sweat, they tend to assign it less value, thereby taking it for granted. What requires hard work and dedication, on the other hand, we value highly.

Sound familiar? Yes, we want what we can't have, or what we can't have easily.

Does this mean we should make it an arduous task for our date to get to know us? Not at all. But you can deliver a great first impression -- and be similarly charming and affable on subsequent dates -- without baring your soul. They key is not give off the vibe that you're desperate or will be the other's doormat should the dates lead to something more permanent.

Comments

Unknown said…

My mistake always was waiting too long.

October 31, 2016 at 2:11 PM

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

The 1 good thing cheaters do for us

Nothing good could come of a relationship marred by infidelity, right? The heartache, the shock, the feeling of one's trust being violated. In the short-term, being cheated on can turn one's world upside down. But eventually, there may be a light awaiting the cheated at the end of the tunnel. If you really think about it, cheaters end up doing us a huge favor. In their selfishness and disloyalty, they end up showing us that we deserve better. If you're so unfortunate as to be a victim of such acts of betrayal, you can only hope the cheater is considerate enough to own up to their missteps. But we all know full well that, in many cases, the cheater is either caught in the act or leaves behind a trail of hints that ultimately culminates in their undoing. The more classy thing to do is to discuss their feelings openly with their partner before straying. If all talks lead to an impasse or a further escalation of tensions, both parties should take it as a ...

Search This Blog