Why others' advice isn't always good for us

Though people generally mean well when giving us advice, you should always take it with a grain of salt.

Ask yourself these questions:

Are they advising me to do something that would be in my best interest, or simply something they would do in my situation? The two are certainly different.
Are they telling me to act in a way that's consistent with how they dealt with that situation, so as to validate their own behavior?
Are they expecting to get anything out of it?

Let me give you an example. When I was torn between career choices, two people in my family coaxed me into becoming an accountant. Why? Because they were accountants themselves.

Though I offered myriad reasons as to why the other fields I had in mind could potentially be better fits, they didn't care to listen. They insisted that "we" (meaning myself and my two accountant family members) could all reap great rewards from my becoming an accountant, including the prospect of starting up a family firm in the future.

I studied accounting up until my third year of college. One day I woke up and realized I did not want to do accounting for the rest of my life, so I switched to marketing (an easy transition considering it was also among the business school's degree offerings) and chose to minor in psychology -- and I've never looked back since.

As you can see, sometimes people's advice may be biased and informed by their own experiences. They may advise you not to get married just because their two marriages went down the drain, not to apply for a job at ABC Corp because "it's too hard to get a job there," and not to buy a condo because "everyone prefers a house."

It's okay for people to share their experiences, but it bothers me to no end when they paint their opinions as facts. Just because something didn't work out for your brother, cousin, coworker, or friend doesn't mean it won't for you. Just because you want to do something that somewhat deviates from the norm doesn't mean it's wrong or will yield negative results.

So again, take people's advice with a grain of salt and don't feel inhibited by what they say you should or should not do -- whether it deals with your career choice, love life, or lifestyle in general.

Comments

Unknown said…

I liked what you said . I never give advices , because either people don't follow it , or if it didn't work out for them , they have someone to blame .

December 18, 2014 at 6:53 AM

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