Do old friendships fade out?

If you've been friends with someone for 10 or more years, consider yourself lucky. I am fortunate enough that my closest friendships go back a long time:

Oldest friendship: 24 years
Second oldest friendship: 15 years
Third oldest friendship: 11 years

However, maintaining these friendships hasn't been easy. Spats over the years nearly decimated the latter two friendships, and right now I am in hot water with my oldest friend.

Luckily, things have a way of working out, but I realize that not everyone is as docile and forgiving as I am. When I put considerable time and effort into a relationship, I do my best to keep it alive.

But friendships are a two-way street; they require serious time and effort from both parties. If only one person is putting in all the work, that friendship will likely go down the tubes.

Maintaining friendships only becomes more difficult as we get older. Once we're well past the college and drinking years, it isn't as easy to strike up conversations on the street and make friends. What's more, priorities including kids and household duties put a serious dent in the time we have available to forge new friendships.

It's no wonder so many of us are willing to do whatever is necessary to salvage our old friendships.

My advice: If you value the friendship enough to want to keep it alive, don't give up at the first sign of hardship. Do your best to work through problems with your friend and resolve any disagreements that may come up. However, If you find that your friend is not pulling his weight and seems impervious to your efforts, it's time to kiss the friendship goodbye.

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