Skip to main content

Why do we want what we can't have?

How to Understand People delves into human behavior and explores why people act in sometimes-unusual ways.

One of those oddities is the fact that no matter what we obtain and how much of it, we always seem to be striving for something more.

The novelty of consumer goods like watches and television sets wears off rather quickly, and it isn't long before we're in search of the next best thing. Women with straight hair long for curly hair, and vice versa. People in cities where it gets very cold in the winter time wish they lived in sun-drenched, humid Miami. Time-starved parents wish they had the luxury of being able to relax at will.

In other words, we always seem to want what we can't have. Sometimes people spend so much time yearning for what they can't get that they fail to appreciate what's in front of them, hence the phrase "you don't know what you've got until it's gone."

We may get like this when, for example, a friend buys a nicer car or a neighbor installs a new pool -- something many of us can only dream of doing given the cost.

We need to resist the urge to keep up with the Joneses. It's precisely that kind of thinking that led people to spend beyond their means in the years leading to the Great Recession, and why the bottom finally fell out in 2008.

The bottom line: Instead of being so easily swayed by advertising into buying stuff we don't need, let's lead simpler lives filled with less junk. Shun materialistic tendencies once and for all. Our pocketbooks, and ultimately, our sanity, will thank us for it later.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

The 1 good thing cheaters do for us

Nothing good could come of a relationship marred by infidelity, right? The heartache, the shock, the feeling of one's trust being violated.  In the short-term, being cheated on can turn one's world upside down. But eventually, there may be a light awaiting the cheated at the end of the tunnel.  If you really think about it, cheaters end up doing us a huge favor.  In their selfishness and disloyalty, they end up showing us that we deserve better.  If you're so unfortunate as to be a victim of such acts of betrayal, you can only hope the cheater is considerate enough to own up to their missteps.  But we all know full well that, in many cases, the cheater is either caught in the act or leaves behind a trail of hints that ultimately culminates in their undoing. The more classy thing to do is to discuss their feelings openly with their partner before straying.  If all talks lead to an impasse or a further escalation of tensions, both parties should take it as a ...