Skip to main content

Understanding why people become distant

It isn't always easy to comprehend why some people -- whether it's a friend, partner, or family member -- are prone to aloofness. You know, that friend or relative who you hear from occasionally but are unable to communicate with as regularly as you'd hope.

It can often be attributed to two things:

1. Genuinely busy -- Between two jobs, work, and kids, the person has hardly enough time even for himself. Under such constraints, it's difficult to keep in touch on a consistent basis.

2. Making excuses -- Maybe the person could find better ways to budget his time so he can speak with you more often, but doesn't find it worthwhile to expend the effort. If that's the case, it raises an interesting question: Why bother keeping that person in your life in the first place?

It's possible he is not deliberately avoiding you, only that life gets in the way. If you feel you've been put on the back burner, speak to him about it -- perhaps her reasons for being unavailable are completely justified.

Some people never actually become distant at all; they just emerge when they need something from you, which an any outsider is likely to view as aloofness.

In a relationship, conflicting schedules and changing life circumstances can drive a wedge between even the closest friends. You'll also notice that it's typical for one person to be more emotionally invested in the friendship or relationship and thus make more demands on the other individual's time.

Again, communication is key. If, after talking openly about this, you find that the distance only seems to be widening, maybe it'd be best for both of you to part ways.


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Women vs. Men: Who likes to backstab more?

Whether it's on TV or in the workplace, the general consensus seems to be that women gossip, backstab, and stir up more conflict than men do. But, as with every other topic, I thought it only fair to put this so-called stereotype under the microscope. If you watch reality shows like Celebrity Apprentice, you'll notice it's the women who spend far more time bickering. While the men do at times become embroiled in tit for tat, it's the women who are portrayed as meaner and more hostile. In the workplace, I have noticed that women seem to gossip far more than their male counterparts. I haven't really seen any cases where a person blatantly backstabs the other, but I have caught both men and women in little white lies. If it is true that women are generally more into backstabbing and gossiping than men, why is this the case? I believe that it isn't fair to make a blanket statement like "all women play these games while all men keep to themselves and pre...
1 comment
Read More

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...
6 comments
Read More

Men prefer to marry brunettes

Study after study shows that men prefer blondes as girlfriends or mistresses and brunettes as wives . It seems many men see brunettes as more trustworthy and loyal. What's more, even though participants claimed that blondes are better in bed, they feel brunettes are better kissers and more affectionate than blondes. I find these results to be rather interesting. In my high school and early college days, I actually had a preference for blondes myself -- that is, until I hooked up with my now-wife. From that point on, I deemed brunettes as more attractive and marriage material, probably because they reminded me of and more closely resembled her. I think we can blame Hollywood, shows like Baywatch, and Playboy for painting blondes as wild, big chested, promiscuous and loose. (Yes, I know that there are brunettes in Playboy, but they seem to be in the minority.) When someone tells a man to think of an attractive blonde, who do you think likely crosses his mind? More likely than...
Post a Comment
Read More