Skip to main content

Relationship Tips: Accept that relationships change

Have you noticed that you no longer have anything in common with many of the friends you went to school with?

Have you noticed that the sexual passion that pervaded the early stages of your relationship or marriage has died down in recent years?

As alluded to in earlier posts, relationships change over time. The friend you met in high school or person you married after college may not remotely resemble the individual he is today -- and the same goes for you.

The early stages of a relationship, particularly when both people are still getting to know each other, are generally the steamiest and most exciting. Once the relationship matures, especially post-marriage and children, that intense passion dwindles and gives way to a bond grounded in companionship.

Relationships and friendships evolve, just like the people in them. It's unlikely you'll be hitting up bars and nightclubs in your 50s like you did in your 20s. Children change the whole dynamic of a relationship -- no longer can you wake up at noon and bolt to a party or movie theater as you please. When a couple assumes the role of parents, their own interests take a back seat to the needs of the child.

But just because changing life circumstances alter our relationships doesn't mean they're doomed. Flexibility and openness to change is key. For example, if your friend gets married and has a kid, you should be willing to go out with all of them as a gesture of good faith -- even though it'd make a vast departure from your college "boys nights." If your wife has taken up new hobbies in the later part of your relationship -- ones she showed no interest in when you started dating -- why not try them out for yourself?

Relationships ebb and flow, wax and wane. It's a normal part of life. If you find one particular friendship or relationship not working for you, talk it over with the other person. If all else fails, it's time to sever ties and move on.




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Women vs. Men: Who likes to backstab more?

Whether it's on TV or in the workplace, the general consensus seems to be that women gossip, backstab, and stir up more conflict than men do. But, as with every other topic, I thought it only fair to put this so-called stereotype under the microscope. If you watch reality shows like Celebrity Apprentice, you'll notice it's the women who spend far more time bickering. While the men do at times become embroiled in tit for tat, it's the women who are portrayed as meaner and more hostile. In the workplace, I have noticed that women seem to gossip far more than their male counterparts. I haven't really seen any cases where a person blatantly backstabs the other, but I have caught both men and women in little white lies. If it is true that women are generally more into backstabbing and gossiping than men, why is this the case? I believe that it isn't fair to make a blanket statement like "all women play these games while all men keep to themselves and pre...
1 comment
Read More

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...
6 comments
Read More

Men prefer to marry brunettes

Study after study shows that men prefer blondes as girlfriends or mistresses and brunettes as wives . It seems many men see brunettes as more trustworthy and loyal. What's more, even though participants claimed that blondes are better in bed, they feel brunettes are better kissers and more affectionate than blondes. I find these results to be rather interesting. In my high school and early college days, I actually had a preference for blondes myself -- that is, until I hooked up with my now-wife. From that point on, I deemed brunettes as more attractive and marriage material, probably because they reminded me of and more closely resembled her. I think we can blame Hollywood, shows like Baywatch, and Playboy for painting blondes as wild, big chested, promiscuous and loose. (Yes, I know that there are brunettes in Playboy, but they seem to be in the minority.) When someone tells a man to think of an attractive blonde, who do you think likely crosses his mind? More likely than...
Post a Comment
Read More