Needless to say, the human ego is at work here.
Few things feel as great as knowing you tickle someone's fancy, so long as you're not perceived to be a creep, weirdo, or stalker of some kind.
If you find them attractive, they may be flattered and think you have good taste.
And then once they show interest in you, you may be flattered and think they have good taste.
Thus, we have a cycle in which interpersonal attraction grows on both sides.
But as we all know, attraction can ebb and flow over the course of the relationship.
Lusty attraction in the context of the so-called honeymoon stage -- where both partners see each other in the most favorable light -- doesn't last forever.
Once the relationship begins to mature and both individuals grow more comfortable with each other, those intense feelings give way to comfort and security -- though that isn't to say the mutual attraction dissipates.
Here are ways you can ensure that someone remains attracted to you, whether you've been with them for one month or a decade:
- Always be yourself.
- Be confident in your own skin.
- Stand up for what you believe in.
- Don't seek others' validation.
- Aim toward your goals with ferocity.
- Be passionate about the things you love.
- Take care of yourself (e.g., exercise, sleep adequately, eat healthy).
Now, going back to the studies referenced earlier, experience tells us that merely showing interest in someone doesn't necessarily mean that interest will be reciprocated.
Imagine all the guys who have been shot down by "10s" at bars. Or how about the geeky girl at school being spurned by the quarterback of the football team?
Making your interest known will likely pay huge dividends if the person is already attracted to you.
There may be a whole host of men or women already vying for that person's affections.
So if you have that many people expressing interest you, chances are you'll become numb to that attention -- and may even start to become more drawn to those who show no interest in you (i.e., they're more of a challenge).
Again, it really depends on the situation. I feel that the strategy holds more promise in cases where the person you're interested doesn't have a deep pool of potential love interests to choose from.
Still, it's better to make it known that you're interested than remain tight-lipped.
What's the worst that can happen? That they don't feel the same? Well, at least you'll know and can move on to the next individual who catches your eye.
It's better to be rejected outright than to be left wondering whether the person was indeed attracted to you.
In sum, while we can't help feeling more attracted toward some people than others, conveying that you fancy someone may help you score some points.
Whether they'll feel the same way or receptive to your advances is anyone's guess, but you won't know unless you try -- and there's no question that stroking someone's ego with a few flattering compliments is a good place to start.
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