What to do when people push you around

If someone in your life has a tendency to push you around, it's time to stand firm.

It doesn't matter whether it's your partner, friend, sibling, or co-worker.

No one deserves to be treated that way.

The sad truth is that bullying isn't limited to adolescents who make fun of other kids' weight or beleaguer them for lunch money.

Adults, too, can manipulate and take advantage of people in their orbit.

One surefire way for things to reach this point is by allowing people to perceive you as a pushover.

Once they see you as someone they can run roughshod over, they'll carry on until you put a stop to such distasteful behavior.

So, you're likely asking how you can tackle the problem.

I always advise people to try to have an honest conversation in private first.

You never know if the person harbors ill will toward you because of a misunderstanding, a false rumor, or a mistaken first impression.

In that conversation, it's important to drive home the point that you're not looking for trouble.

You'd simply like to know why they've been hostile toward you and how you can work together to mend the relationship.

If you find that even after talking they persist in their behavior, it may be time to get someone else involved -- whether it's telling your boss or HR at work, or speaking directly with your partner's friends or parents.

But hopefully it doesn't get to that, assuming you're dealing with a sensible adult who may not even recognize they're out of line.

Ideally, being nice to and respectful toward people would be sufficient for them to reciprocate. But that's not always how it plays out.

Sometimes we rub people the wrong way. Sometimes they're going through a tough time and proceed to take their frustrations out on others.

And sometimes they've been treated poorly by others and have decided to take on those very qualities themselves.

As I alluded to earlier, though, there is no justification for treating someone like dirt.

If you feel someone is pushing you around, stand up for yourself -- in a civil, if firm, manner.

Sometimes they will not respect you until they see that you respect yourself enough to exhort them to back off.

On the other hand, it might be better not to have someone so corrosive in your life anyway.

Comments

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