What if one person cares more than the other?

Is a relationship doomed when one person is a bit more invested than the other?

Not necessarily.

In fact, it's quite typical for one partner to care a little more than their significant other -- and the roles can switch over the course of the relationship.

This can happen because of a myriad of factors, including:

One person having a more stressful job
Illness
One partner being more organized and on top of things (e.g., relationship milestones, finances, etc.)

In essence, it doesn't mean that the person who's a little less committed doesn't value the relationship. But everything from a person's disposition/personality to life simply getting in the way has to be factored in.

And sometimes it may seem like they don't care as much because that's how the partner perceives it, but it's not the case at all.

For example, some people are naturally more mushy than others. Just because they're not always keen on displaying affection should not be taken to mean they don't cherish their partner.

That's why it's so important for partners to keep an open dialogue. If one feels like they're investing disproportionately into the relationship, they should make their feelings known so the two can arrive at a compromise.

Notice I said above that if one partner cares "a little more," it doesn't necessarily signal that the relationship is fated to crash and burn.

However, if one partner finds himself grappling with any of the following, the problem goes far beyond level of engagement:

They're being taken for granted.
They're being cheated on.
They're being abused.
They're being ignored.

Any of the circumstances laid out above are unacceptable and grounds for calling it quits.

No one deserves to be strung along -- let alone treated like garbage.

It takes two to sustain a relationship. There will be times when one partner will have to shoulder a bigger load than the other, but it shouldn't be to the extent where that individual is always carrying the relationship on their back.

A person can be a little less invested than the other, and still be a good partner and contributor to the partnership.

But when their words diverge considerably from their words -- they say they care but their actions never show it -- that's when you know it's time to assess whether the relationship should even continue.

Comments

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