Skip to main content

When giving your all isn't enough for someone

When giving someone your all isn't sufficient in the relationship, you're with the wrong person.

Whether your efforts fall short in their view because he or she is that hard to please (e.g., she doesn't feel you buy her enough stuff) or he fails to recognize your varied contributions (e.g., chores, emotional support, and so on), being with such an individual can be draining, if not demoralizing.

What's frustrating is that the person may never come to appreciate all the time, energy, sweat, and tears we've invested into the relationship.

When you arrive at this juncture, one really has to ask whether trying to salvage the relationship is even worth it anymore.

Broaching the subject may or may not help.
He or she may take offense to your claims and insist that they do value your efforts, even if their actions contradict their words.

And even if it does help initially, the person may revert to their old habits once they sense all is fine and dandy again.

People who never seem content tend to display all or some of these characteristics:

  • They always seemed primed for a fight.
  • They nitpick at the smallest things.
  • It is very difficult to reason with them as they take offense to nearly everything you say.
  • Good deeds either go unnoticed or become expected. 
It's natural to assume that a seemingly unappreciative or discontent partner may be cheating, but it's important not to jump to such conclusions until you know for sure.

If they can't bother to be open with you -- and if they continue to assume that they're not in the wrong -- you may need to seek couple's therapy. And if that's off the table, the relationship's days are likely numbered.

Those who decide they're done opt to conserve their mental and emotional resources for someone who actually values their efforts.

You deserve better. No one should have to get the cold shoulder. No one should feel as though their time and energy is in vain.

Someone out there will relish all you do for them and make you feel as special as you make them feel.

Relationships in which one person fails to recognize the other's contributions go down the drain.

Sadly, many end in this fashion, and if you're one of the many who find themselves in one-sided relationships, just remember: You're no obligated to stay.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually.  Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker.  Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar.  When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...