3 can't-miss tips for handling rejection

We've all been there: We tell someone we're drawn to them romantically, but it turns out they don't feel the same way.

If someone isn't interested in a relationship with you, it can be pretty upsetting, especially if you've imagined hooking up with them for quite some time.

Once you know the feelings aren't mutual, what should you do?

Below are a couple of suggestions for dealing with rejection. (Note that many of these tips also work in the event that someone breaks up with you.)

1. Don't beg for another chance. If they've told or shown you they're not interested -- whether it's because they are taken, wish to remain single, or see you only as a friend, the worst thing you can do is press the issue further.

This can be viewed as stalking or harassment, and the last thing you want is to ruffle the feathers of his or her partner, family or friends -- let alone get in trouble with the law.

2. Don't mope around at home or elsewhere. Though it's understandable that you may need some time to "grieve" a relationship that never came to be, sooner or later you'll have to move on with your life.

Pining over someone constantly could very well make you anxious and/or depressed, possibly causing you problems at work and straining your social life.

You need to keep yourself occupied. Enjoy your hobbies or take up some new ones. Hang out with friends. Do whatever possible to keep your mind focused on the present and resist the stubborn urge to harp on the past.

3. Don't expect that they will come around. Many people who find themselves in this situation may opt to put their love life on hold, driven by a persistent feeling that the other person will realize what they're missing out on and come waltzing back.

This is never a guarantee, especially if they're already in a relationship or have their eye on someone else. Chances are, you may never see them again.

That being said, don't close yourself off to opportunities to meet other men or women. You could be missing out on someone wonderful if you remain fixated on an individual who may have forgotten you exist.

Rejection can be tough, but it shouldn't dampen your enthusiasm for the things and people that bring you joy.

Rest assured that things happen for a reason, and someone better lies in your future.

Comments

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...

How To Understand People

Search This Blog