Saying "I love you" isn't enough

If merely saying "I love you" to one's partner countless times determined whether a relationship or marriage would last, we'd see far fewer divorces and breakups in our lifetime.

Those three words, as we very well know, get tossed around quite a lot.

Unfortunately, the divorce rate is so high in part because people fail to back their declarations of love with concrete actions.

What good is professing to love someone if a person doesn't demonstrate it?

Actions lends such words substance.

To give you another example, you can tell people, "I am intent on losing weight," but if you continue to eat fatty foods every night, your words come off as little more than hot air.

So why do people think stating they love their partner is enough?

Some couples have been together for a long time. Once complacency begins to set in, they may stop trying as hard, assuming their history and the comfort they feel in the relationship alone will carry it.

John might ask Beth for favor after favor -- from serving his food to putting his shoes away for him -- followed by a thanks and an "I love you." Yet, when Beth asks John for something, he may not be inclined to oblige her.

The worst cases involve those who say they love someone else and don't even mean it. Maybe they're just looking to get the other into bed, or they're just using the person for money, attention, or something else.

The more people use "I love you" without assigning the words real meaning, the more watered down they become in general.

Having been in lousy relationships with people who declared their "love" early on, some people have become wary of such declarations -- and rightly so.

There's nothing more gratifying than hearing your partner utter the words, then seeing them express their love in ways as simple as leaving love notes behind, opening the door for you, or hugging you when you're having a tough day.

The words "I love you" shouldn't come out of anyone's mouth unless they intend to prove they genuinely love the other person.

Love isn't said, it's shown. It isnt a spontaneous feeling, but a deliberative feeling.

Comments

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