Refuse to be anyone's backup plan

Whether it's a love interest who's made you their "plan B" in case it doesn't work out with their first choice, or a friend who only calls you when plans with other people fall through, never allow yourself to be someone's backup.

What a lousy position to be in! The other person is essentially saying that you're not good enough to be their top pick.

Well, here's the good news: You will always be good enough for someone else out there. You will be someone's first choice. And that's why it's imperative that you not rest on your laurels when someone places you on the back burner.

By doing so, you risk missing out on opportunities to meet or be with people who genuinely value your time and the ways you enhance their lives.

Rather than pine for someone who doesn't want to give you the time of day, you should gravitate toward people who feel that investing time in you is well worth it.

If people don't choose you, tough luck. You're not just some prop that people can avail of at their convenience.

Don't let anyone think you'd be fine settling for second choice. It's not as if you're a job applicant vying for a highly competitive position. You have other options!

By agreeing to remain on stand-by, all you're doing is stroking his or her ego and allowing them to toy with your emotions. People need to realize that they can't have their cake and eat it too.

It takes a selfish, arrogant individual to assume that others will simply sit around and wait for them. A decent human being will be upfront about his or her true feelings and intentions so that the person can move on should they desire to.

It's true that we may be someone's backup plan without even knowing it, but chances are it will come clear once you observe certain behaviors. For example, she might only show interest in you after posting on Facebook that her boyfriend is away on business, or that she got into a big fight with another friend. In other words, they have you on reserve for whenever something out of the norm takes place with their go-to person.

It's especially hurtful when the person giving you short shrift is someone you were once very close to. Sadly, people change, and just because we have a long history with them doesn't mean we should let such behavior slide.

Don't make anyone your priority if they only see you as an option. You deserve better!

Comments

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