The reason we expect so much from people

The reason we expect so much from people is because we would be willing to do that much for them.

Unfortunately, though, reality doesn't always align with our expectations.

And therein lies the problem: We have a tendency to anticipate that people will think and act like us in a given situation. When they fail to do so, however, we feel let down, if not betrayed.

As painful as it can be, our partner, relatives. and close friends will not always act in our best interest. This could happen for a variety of reasons:

They put themselves (or even someone else) before you.

They don't realize just how much being there really means to you.

Life gets in the way.

The important thing is not to take it personally, and the best way to do that is by not having unrealistically high expectations in the first place.

That's not to say that you shouldn't ask others for help when you need it, especially when you've been there for them. And it doesn't mean that you shouldn't set clear ground rules as far as what you're willing or unwilling to tolerate in your relationship with someone.

But don't expect people to read your mind or react to situations exactly as you would.

For example, you might tell someone a joke and expect them to burst with laughter, or give them a nice gift and expect to be heaped with expressions of gratitude, but there are no guarantees in life.

They very well might have thought the joke trite or the gift tacky. Maybe they were just having a dismal day.

It's always nice when the reverse takes place: You don't expect a favorable response from someone and they actually surpass your expectations. Such situations are usually the exception rather than the rule, though.

The best way to go about it? Take people as they come. And if you find that they keep letting you down, no one says you have to put up with it.

Comments

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