Many people swear by the notion that there is only have one person in the world whom we can call our "soulmate."
In their view, destiny has picked out one individual who complements them on myriad levels -- physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually -- like no one else. And the ones lucky enough to be in long-term relationships, not surprisingly, say they're confident their partner is their other half.
But is this really true? Can only one person in this entire world -- mind you, there are 7.6 billion human beings living on this planet -- be ideally suited for us?
While I would love to believe that life plays out like a fairy tale, I can't subscribe to the idea that we couldn't click and carry on successful relationships with several people -- whether we live in London or Las Vegas.
Instead, I believe that we can have varying degrees of compatibility with different people, and it's up to us to decide which differences are too much to bear.
For example, I might feel drawn to Susan for her sweet personality, bookish bent, and penchant for hard work. However, I might not be crazy about the fact that she drinks and smokes (which I don't do).
Then there's Katie. I may find myself attracted to her because she has beautiful blue eyes and a radiant smile, not to mention she is a big baseball like I am. But the downside might be that she holds fierce opposing political views.
Could I not have a fruitful relationship with either Katie or Susan? As long as I am willing to overlook what I perceive as negatives (or they find a way to meet me in the middle), the answer is yes.
There are always going to be things we don't like about our partner. We may deem them to be nearly perfect, but there's always going to be something about them -- a pet peeve, if you will -- that gets under our skin.
Of course, people's personalities, hobbies, and views are not the only predictors of a successful relationship. It also depends on each person's willingness to invest the time and energy needed to make it work.
We all know someone who, after getting divorced, has gone on to find long-lasting love. Does this mean the second person was the true soulmate and not the first?
Not necessarily. It might mean that the first person was a fantastic match -- possibly even better than the second individual -- but circumstances (sometimes outside their control, like having to move permanently for a job) convinced both people that the marriage just wasn't going to work.
There's a difference between having the chemistry to forge a great relationship, and having the willingness to keep it strong.
To put it in a different context: If someone were to start slacking off at work, they could very easily get fired. It would be very convenient to turn around and say, "Well, it wasn't meant to be." But maybe it was the best job that person has had up to this point, and they may never find a better one in the future. Her indisposition toward attending to her duties led to the unfortunate end, but it doesn't mean she was ill-suited for the job.
And sometimes it takes a few relationships to realize exactly what it is we want in a partner. For example, now that you've been with your boyfriend for 2 years, you might be relieved your last relationship -- a tumultuous one at that -- didn't work out. Or, you may concede that you're not nearly as compatible with your current girlfriend as you were with your ex.
In sum, several people in the world can fill the role of Mr. or Ms. Right, and we will probably never cross paths with most of them (much like possible candidates for a job). We can only hope that the person we ultimately choose is among those with whom a blissful future is a sure bet.
In their view, destiny has picked out one individual who complements them on myriad levels -- physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually -- like no one else. And the ones lucky enough to be in long-term relationships, not surprisingly, say they're confident their partner is their other half.
But is this really true? Can only one person in this entire world -- mind you, there are 7.6 billion human beings living on this planet -- be ideally suited for us?
While I would love to believe that life plays out like a fairy tale, I can't subscribe to the idea that we couldn't click and carry on successful relationships with several people -- whether we live in London or Las Vegas.
Instead, I believe that we can have varying degrees of compatibility with different people, and it's up to us to decide which differences are too much to bear.
For example, I might feel drawn to Susan for her sweet personality, bookish bent, and penchant for hard work. However, I might not be crazy about the fact that she drinks and smokes (which I don't do).
Then there's Katie. I may find myself attracted to her because she has beautiful blue eyes and a radiant smile, not to mention she is a big baseball like I am. But the downside might be that she holds fierce opposing political views.
Could I not have a fruitful relationship with either Katie or Susan? As long as I am willing to overlook what I perceive as negatives (or they find a way to meet me in the middle), the answer is yes.
There are always going to be things we don't like about our partner. We may deem them to be nearly perfect, but there's always going to be something about them -- a pet peeve, if you will -- that gets under our skin.
Of course, people's personalities, hobbies, and views are not the only predictors of a successful relationship. It also depends on each person's willingness to invest the time and energy needed to make it work.
We all know someone who, after getting divorced, has gone on to find long-lasting love. Does this mean the second person was the true soulmate and not the first?
Not necessarily. It might mean that the first person was a fantastic match -- possibly even better than the second individual -- but circumstances (sometimes outside their control, like having to move permanently for a job) convinced both people that the marriage just wasn't going to work.
There's a difference between having the chemistry to forge a great relationship, and having the willingness to keep it strong.
To put it in a different context: If someone were to start slacking off at work, they could very easily get fired. It would be very convenient to turn around and say, "Well, it wasn't meant to be." But maybe it was the best job that person has had up to this point, and they may never find a better one in the future. Her indisposition toward attending to her duties led to the unfortunate end, but it doesn't mean she was ill-suited for the job.
And sometimes it takes a few relationships to realize exactly what it is we want in a partner. For example, now that you've been with your boyfriend for 2 years, you might be relieved your last relationship -- a tumultuous one at that -- didn't work out. Or, you may concede that you're not nearly as compatible with your current girlfriend as you were with your ex.
In sum, several people in the world can fill the role of Mr. or Ms. Right, and we will probably never cross paths with most of them (much like possible candidates for a job). We can only hope that the person we ultimately choose is among those with whom a blissful future is a sure bet.
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