Why you shouldn't be afraid to lose people

You should never be afraid to lose people -- whether close friends or mere acquaintances -- if keeping them in your life means losing yourself in the process.

And how might you lose yourself?

You can lose your self-identity by (1) changing yourself to appease them (2) doing everything in your power to please them while neglecting your own needs and wants.

Sure, in any relationship, a little flexibility -- some give and take, if you will -- is to be expected. Sometimes you may accede to the other's wishes as far as where to go and what to do. Maybe your friend has kids and you don't, which necessitates planning outings around their busy schedule.

But a line needs to be drawn somewhere.

If you find yourself making concession after concession while the other person refuses to meet you halfway on anything, let's call the relationship what it really is -- one-sided.

Unfortunately, some people become a little too complacent, expecting the other person to always bend over backwards. They do this when they know that the other person thinks highly of them and would rather accommodate them than risk jeopardizing the relationship.

What those who take others for granted fail to consider is that people have a threshold over which they'll no longer tolerate being hurt, ignored, or taken advantage of.

If you're afraid to lose someone because you've known them for a long time or don't have many friends to begin with, consider this:

Relationships evolve our time, as do the people in them. Just because you've been close to someone for, say, 30 years doesn't mean that bond will remain strong forever. Shifting priorities and lifestyle changes can cause people to drift apart.

What's more, it's better to have one or two great relationships than several weak or problematic ones.

Life is too short for so much drama. There's no harm in being selective about the people you allow into your circle. Surround yourself with people who enrich your life and genuinely value your presence.

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April 7, 2018 at 3:48 PM

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April 12, 2018 at 11:57 PM

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