Why people rather argue than resolve conflict

Let's face it: Some people would rather argue or cut contact with you than actually make an attempt to clear the air. They'd prefer to hold grudges than work to resolve conflict.

Perhaps they were in the wrong and refuse to say sorry. Or, you were at fault and have already apologized, but they persist in giving you the cold shoulder.

Most likely, the individual is either (1) immature (2) resentful of something you have that he or she doesn't and wants to spread the misery (3) upset over other personal issues and taking it out on you.

At any rate, a person who is that intransigent has to have a deep sense of pride. They want to win, and taking any sort of conciliatory posture in their book smacks of backing down, so they refuse to change.

But you know something?

One of the most admirable qualities one can possess is humility. Those who refuse to meet in the middle will have a hard time keeping friends and romantic partners. Who wants to be around someone so arrogant, so bitter, so unyielding?

It gets to the point where the relationship becomes like an old car: It continues to break down, and rather than putting more resources into maintaining it, you're better off looking for something new.

Life is complicated enough. We don't need more drama and tension in our lives. We don't need people who aim to put us down. Perhaps the relationship has run its course and no heart-to-heart is going to do a thing at this juncture.

Instead, surround yourself with those who radiate positivity -- those who share in your joys and want to see you succeed.

As I've said before, people don't make us whole -- we do that on our own. Still, being around special individuals who bring a smile to our face when we see them can certainly brighten our day.

Comments

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How To Understand People

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