Surviving Valentine's Day when you're single

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone.

Now, I know today isn't the happiest of days for those who are still on a quest to find Mr. or Ms. Right.

And to them I say: Don't fret. It's not the end of the world. You'll find the right person when the time is right.

I was actually in your shoes at one point. In the days leading up to the holiday every year, I wanted to lock myself in my room, bury my head under a pillow, and fall asleep until February 15.

The commercials, the decorations, the balloons, the flowers, the heart-shaped boxes of chocolates: It was all so torturous! "Why can't I be with someone special on Valentine's Day like so many people I know?" I asked myself wistfully.

Thankfully, my dry spell came to an end in 2005, when I hooked up with the woman I would end up marrying years later.

Eventually, it hit me: I would not have been so melancholic over being single had I not:

Thought that a partner would "complete me": Little did I know at the time that a significant other isn't supposed to make your life feel complete. Only you can do that. A partner enhances your life by accepting you completely.

Compared myself to others: If my friends had a significant other to enjoy the holiday with, I should have been happy for them while using music, exercise, sports, and other interests to distract my mind. Their lives are their own, so why feel envious?

Paid so much attention to the commercialized aspects mentioned above: Much like Christmas, Mother's Day, and Halloween, Valentine's Day is just one of many holidays that are commercialized to death. That countless stores and flower shops want to rake in gobs of cash should have no bearing on my mood.

What do the above points have in common?

They describe ways in which I was allowing external forces to influence how I felt about myself when, as I've indicated in other posts, happiness really comes from within.

In this digital age, it can be difficult not to feel down in the dumps when people are constantly gushing about their relationship/marriage on Facebook, posting endless pictures and videos with their partner.

But remember one thing: You are in control of how you choose to react to events. A situation will bother you insofar as you allow it to.

Rather than detest Valentine's Day, why not feel optimistic you'll find someone by the time the holiday rolls around next year? (Granted, it's only 365 days away.) Think about what can go right rather than assume only the worst.

However, you need to consider what you can do to better your chances of finding love:

Do you put yourself out there so as to maximize your opportunities? For example, do you stay cooped up at home every weekend, or are you open to going with friends to parties or other places where you might meet someone?

Have you tried online dating?

Have you asked friends or family if they know someone who could be a good match for you?

While I would never encourage anyone to rush into a relationship or settle for someone they're not compatible with, you can't rest on your laurels and wait for someone to magically fall from the sky. You have to do your part as well.

Believe in yourself, be patient, and don't close the door when an opportunity comes knocking. There's someone out there for everyone!

And let me remind you that Valentine's Day isn't just about celebrating relationships with significant others. It's called the "day of love," so why not celebrate your love for your parents, friends, and other special souls in your life? If anything, Valentine's Day should an everyday thing.

Whether you're single or married, you deserve to be happy on Valentine's Day just as much as anyone else.

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