Here's why we need to let go of the past

Whatever you do, don't harp on the past.

Reminiscing is good, but only up to a point. If you find yourself stuck in the past rather than focusing on present and future goals, you're only inhibiting your growth.

Sure, we all have moments where we reflect on happier times in our life and say, "I almost miss those days." But we are prone to such thinking when faced with challenges in the present that drag us down.

But why not tweak your thinking and reason that once you surmount those challenges, you'll be even happier -- and feel more accomplished -- than you did in the past?

Then there are those of us who ruminate on bad experiences in the past -- a close friend inexplicably stabbing us in the back, a significant other we envisioned ourselves being with our whole lives suddenly proclaiming their need for space and effectively ending the relationship, an outstanding job opportunity that slipped through our fingers.

But brooding over the past isn't healthy. In fact, it's counterproductive. It deters you from progressing in life.

As I alluded to above, even I have a tendency to reflect deeply on the past when things aren't going so swimmingly in the present. It's my way of mentally attempting to escape the present, trying to reintegrate myself into a time that now exists only in memory.

Whenever I catch myself doing this, I immediately give myself a reality check: The past is the past. Whether good or bad, those times are long gone. They represent a chapter in my life that's well behind me.

There's no use harking back to those days. Instead, we should focus our thoughts and energies on what lies ahead. Whether you aim to start a family, angle for a promotion, or buy a house, such important decisions require ample planning. And you can't plan for the future if you're thinking about the days of yesteryear.

Again, a little nostalgia isn't a bad thing, but too much of it can obstruct you from charging ahead. Only by adopting a forward-looking mindset can you position yourself to achieve great things on the road of life.

Free yourself of the past. Embrace the future. Great things are in the offing!

Comments

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...

How To Understand People

Search This Blog