Is it normal to miss the beginning of a relationship?

It sure is.

We all miss the butterflies in our stomach -- the sheer excitement of having someone new in our life. Maybe your partner did little things that filled you with immense joy, like deliver flowers to your job or leave love notes in your wallet.

Once the relationship begins to mature, these things tend to happen less often. As you transition from happy couple to married couple to parents, it becomes less about passionate love and more about companionship.

Going from seeing each other once or twice a week to living with one another changes the dynamics of a relationship tremendously. Whereas before you waited for your weekly date with bated breath, now you've fallen into a routine of seeing your partner every day.

Sometimes I miss the early days in my relationship, when I looked forward to seeing my now-wife with great anticipation. Everything felt new and exciting. We were getting to know each other. Our future together seemed promising.

Now that we've been together for almost 12 years, we practically know each other like the back of our hand. We know each other's best qualities and flaws. We sometimes know what the other is thinking before they utter a single word. The element of surprise is largely absent now.

Does this mean I would want to go back to the time we hooked up?

Absolutely not.

Growing comfortable with one another is a good thing. We have also gone through a series of tough situations over the last couple of years that have only made us stronger as a couple.

We're both wiser and more financially stable than when we got together. We're better equipped to handle life's curveballs now than ever before. We confide in each other.

And let's not forget: The beginning of a relationship isn't without its challenges. You really don't know at that point whether you're both compatible and if your relationship will survive past the honeymoon stage. Not having any history to go by -- starting from a clean slate, if you will -- can be as scary as it is thrilling.

What we have now is great -- just a different kind of great than that of the early days.

Couples in mature relationships need to do things to rekindle the spark every once in a while. Take vacations to new destinations. Hit up new restaurants. Learn a new language or how to play an instrument by taking classes together.

As long as you find ways to invigorate the relationship every so often, you can still experience exciting moments reminiscent of the early days.

Try to surprise each other. Be spontaneous. And those little gestures I alluded to earlier -- flowers, notes, chocolate -- should not be limited to Valentine's Day.

Relationships take work. With a little time and effort, you can recreate the excitement you both experienced -- or something to that effect -- when it all began.

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n

Misconceptions about quiet people

Earlier today, I came across a Facebook page that features motivational quotes intended to improve people's moods and enhance their overall self-esteem. Interestingly, I noticed two quotes that focus specifically on quiet people: "Be afraid of quiet people; they're the ones who actually think." "The quietest people have the loudest minds." I've observed that most people's views of quiet individuals can fall under one of two categories: 1. The ones who say quiet people are antisocial, suspicious, snobbish, and/or full of themselves. 2. The people who say their introspective nature and propensity to be deep in thought makes them smarter than their more garrulous peers. The quotes above speak to this mindset. As an introvert known to be quiet at work and at social functions where I might not know anyone, I feel I'm well positioned to dispel any inaccuracies surrounding quiet folks. First of all, the above statements misguidedly put

How to Understand People

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