Would you care as much about what people think of you if I told you that people, in the grand scheme of things, don't think of you as much as you think they do?
That goes for all of us.
In general, human beings are very self-conscious. We assume people are looking at or talking about us when they're really not. We presume they're thinking about what we're eating or wearing when that may not be the case.
Let's face it: people have more than enough to occupy their mind. From our jobs to kids to bills, we have more important fish to fry than other's dressing and eating habits.
Mind you, there are people -- we see them in the workplace all the time -- who do expatiate on such topics, but it's the exception rather than the rule.
There's nothing wrong with caring about how you come across to others, but some people take it to an extreme.
They spend beyond their means to buy the most expensive clothes, jewelry, and cars in hopes of impressing others.
While some people may have good things to say, the less materialistic among us may not care one way or another.
Honestly, I think there's something misguided about trying to buy people's respect and admiration through material possessions.
Should we not strive to be appreciated for intangible qualities that really matter -- intelligence, a sense of humor, our work ethic -- rather than our bank accounts?
The point is that we all have our insecurities -- we all worry to some degree about the impression we make on those around us.
But we needn't overestimate the extent to which people are analyzing our every move. For example, you might spend your evening worrying that someone at the party will find your dress ugly when such a thought never crosses anyone's mind.
In other words, we can be our own worst critic, jamming ideas into our mind that border on paranoia.
Why not think that people will actually like the dress?
Better yet, why not acknowledge that most people probably won't even notice it?
It makes sense that people we deal with every day -- our friends, partner, coworkers -- are more likely to pass judgment.
But as for those we don't know that well: they may not know us well enough to hold an opinion at all. And even if they do, is it really that important?
Don't stress over what people think of you. Keep things in perspective. If they're not the ones paying your bills, they have no right to impose their opinions on you -- let alone dictate how you should live your own life!
That goes for all of us.
In general, human beings are very self-conscious. We assume people are looking at or talking about us when they're really not. We presume they're thinking about what we're eating or wearing when that may not be the case.
Let's face it: people have more than enough to occupy their mind. From our jobs to kids to bills, we have more important fish to fry than other's dressing and eating habits.
Mind you, there are people -- we see them in the workplace all the time -- who do expatiate on such topics, but it's the exception rather than the rule.
There's nothing wrong with caring about how you come across to others, but some people take it to an extreme.
They spend beyond their means to buy the most expensive clothes, jewelry, and cars in hopes of impressing others.
While some people may have good things to say, the less materialistic among us may not care one way or another.
Honestly, I think there's something misguided about trying to buy people's respect and admiration through material possessions.
Should we not strive to be appreciated for intangible qualities that really matter -- intelligence, a sense of humor, our work ethic -- rather than our bank accounts?
The point is that we all have our insecurities -- we all worry to some degree about the impression we make on those around us.
But we needn't overestimate the extent to which people are analyzing our every move. For example, you might spend your evening worrying that someone at the party will find your dress ugly when such a thought never crosses anyone's mind.
In other words, we can be our own worst critic, jamming ideas into our mind that border on paranoia.
Why not think that people will actually like the dress?
Better yet, why not acknowledge that most people probably won't even notice it?
It makes sense that people we deal with every day -- our friends, partner, coworkers -- are more likely to pass judgment.
But as for those we don't know that well: they may not know us well enough to hold an opinion at all. And even if they do, is it really that important?
Don't stress over what people think of you. Keep things in perspective. If they're not the ones paying your bills, they have no right to impose their opinions on you -- let alone dictate how you should live your own life!
Comments