Impress YOURSELF, not others

If you're one of those people who strives to impress other people at every turn, I'm here to tell you one thing: you should be trying to impress yourself instead.

Some of you may ask, "What does impressing yourself even mean?"

In a nutshell, it means growing as a person.

Impressing yourself signifies achieving big goals -- succeeding at things even you never thought possible. For example, maybe you're convinced you can't lose 30 pounds in two months or read two voluminous books in a single month, but through hard work and commitment, you prove yourself wrong. There's no better feeling in the world, especially when other people said you couldn't do it.

While "I told you so" moments can be empowering, here's the problem with trying to impress other people:cic

You'll always fall short of someone's expectations. What's more, people always have something to criticize. You could have lost more weight. You spend way too much reading rather than doing more practical things. It goes on and on.

Before you know it, you're living life on someone else's terms rather than your own.

The only person whose expectations you should try to meet -- and surpass - are your own. No one will ever appreciate your hard work, skills, and talents more than you will. No one has a clearer sense of all the sweat and tears it has taken you to accomplish something than you do.

We live in a society where touting your own accomplishments to gain others' validation is par for the course, thanks in part to the proliferation of social media like Facebook and Twitter.

While you may get a few "likes" and congratulatory remarks, people seem to have very short time spans when it comes to achievements that don't concern them. By tomorrow, they will have forgotten about everything you achieved.

On the other hand, you'll continue to take pride in what you accomplished for a much longer period of time. Why? Because our accomplishments hold special sentimental value in our lives. They bespeak not giving up in the face of tough challenges. They're indicative of how far one's steely determination to prevail can take them.

I realize that there are people in our inner circle -- from parents and friends to coaches -- who help us get to the finish line. It's rare to be able to achieve anything without some guidance for others.

Still, keep in mind who it is that you're doing all this for. You're doing it for yourself.

While it feels great to see your loved ones proud of you, it feels even better to be proud of yourself, for it wouldn't have happened without your decision to embark on the journey in the first place.

Believe in yourself -- you might surprise yourself at the many things you can accomplish.

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...

How To Understand People

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