Stop comparing your life to others'

If there's one thing I've learned about Facebook, it's that it seems designed to make people envy each other. The child-free couple taking off on a cruise vacation at the drop of a hat. The newlyweds boasting of how perfect their lives are together. Sally posting pictures at the finest restaurants in Beverly Hills.

Many people seem to use the social networking site as a way to portray their lives as being better than yours and mine. And some of them will go to the ends of the earth to get as many "likes" and positive comments as they possibly can.

Thus the reason I've cut back on my use of Facebook in recent months. It's also devolved into a popularity contest of sorts that I wish not to be a part of.

Maybe you don't wish to compare your life to others' because you're happy with it as it is. Just because the Coopers have three kids and a dog, live in a huge house, and go to Disney World every three months doesn't mean I have the least bit interest in sharing that lifestyle.

Going back to the likes and comments, people seem to use Facebook as a way to seek validation for everything from their hobbies to their life choices. For example, what would a woman think if she received zero likes after posting that she just learned she's pregnant? It might lead her to assume that she made the wrong choice, or that it's somehow socially unacceptable.

I just irks me when people try to use Facebook to make others envious of them. It bothers me even more when others take the bait and actually begin comparing their lives to those posting the pictures and videos.

You have your life. I have mine. Sally has hers. Ben has his. If all our lives are completely different, that's okay. No one's life is necessarily better than the next person's. If you have no interest in taking vacations to the Caribbean, buying a $500 purse, having kids, or becoming a nurse, don't feel pressured into doing any of these things just because your friends on Facebook are doing them.

Live life on your own terms. Don't become envious of what others have, for you need to blaze your own distinct path. And remember, the ones boasting of how wonderful their lives are on Facebook might just be putting up a front. We don't know what's really happening in their lives outside of Facebook. Think about it: if a person tries that hard to sell us on how happy their lives are, it probably means that, beneath the surface, things aren't all that peachy.

Focus on making YOUR life the very best it can be. What others do and have is irrelevant.

Comments

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an

How To Understand People

Search This Blog