As much as men may say they want the first date to end with a kiss, the truth is that they don't.
Why?
Because the things and people we value most are the ones we have to work harder for.
If someone told you they'd give you a trophy with your name and "1st Place" engraved on it, would you want it? Probably not. It really has no value unless you actually achieved something to earn that recognition.
When a woman kisses a man on a first date, she's putting all her cards on the table a little too quickly. It leaves little to the imagination, as the woman is essentially communicating that she likes him enough to smooch him after only a couple of hours spent together.
That's not necessarily a bad thing, but let's face it: We all like a good challenge. When a woman makes a guy wait, he knows he's going to have to work for what he wants. That alone makes her more attractive in his eyes. On the other hand, a kiss that comes too easily may give him the impression that she's "easy" and will likely put out a lot faster than he'd anticipated.
And ladies beware: Guys themselves might try to test you by leaning in for the kiss and seeing if you'll bite.
Now, the reality is that a lot depends on the type of guy you're dating. Are you with:
Why?
Because the things and people we value most are the ones we have to work harder for.
If someone told you they'd give you a trophy with your name and "1st Place" engraved on it, would you want it? Probably not. It really has no value unless you actually achieved something to earn that recognition.
When a woman kisses a man on a first date, she's putting all her cards on the table a little too quickly. It leaves little to the imagination, as the woman is essentially communicating that she likes him enough to smooch him after only a couple of hours spent together.
That's not necessarily a bad thing, but let's face it: We all like a good challenge. When a woman makes a guy wait, he knows he's going to have to work for what he wants. That alone makes her more attractive in his eyes. On the other hand, a kiss that comes too easily may give him the impression that she's "easy" and will likely put out a lot faster than he'd anticipated.
And ladies beware: Guys themselves might try to test you by leaning in for the kiss and seeing if you'll bite.
Now, the reality is that a lot depends on the type of guy you're dating. Are you with:
- Someone who has just gotten out of a relationship?
- Someone who has never been in a relationship?
- Someone who just wants to fool around?
- Someone with ample relationship experience?
- Someone who is looking for Ms. Right to settle down with?
If it's any of the first three listed above, then perhaps it won't matter that you kissed him so soon. After all, the first type is on the rebound, the second would probably welcome any female attention he can get, and the third doesn't care what you do as long as it helps him get to the promised land: between your legs.
But the final two bullet points describe men who have likely been on many dates or in several relationships in the past. They're not interested in moving quickly; in fact, they want to take time to get to know the other person. For these guys, a woman who can't leave the kiss for the second or third date probably raises red flags. All kinds of thoughts begin racing through their minds:
- Maybe she wants to move fast because she wants my money -- and wants it now
- She has to be easy if she's moving this fast
- This girl must not be worth it if I can land her this easily
- This isn't the type of girl I want to take to home -- only the kind I'd bed for a night of fun
You get the idea. I would advise women against kissing -- let alone "giving up" anything else -- on the first date. It's only human nature that what comes too easily isn't seen as valuable.
I guarantee you, ladies, that if you force him to put a little effort into courting you, he'll appreciate you a lot more in the end.
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Comments
Sounds alien. Things have value in themselves. Some of my favourite things came to me very easily.
Not that I would be interested in kissing on first date.