How men and women react to being checked out

Let's face it: Everyone loves to be checked out and complimented--as long as it isn't done in a creepy, stalker-ish way--especially by someone we find attractive. It boosts our self-confidence and self-esteem, no question.

The problem I find, though, is that many people-- particularly men-- assume someone is checking them out only because they made eye contact with them.

Just because I look a woman in the eyes doesn't mean I'm checking her out. I might see someone coming my way (via my peripherals) and may simply want to see who it is.

Guys are notorious for seeing more than is really there, especially those who are (1) shy (2) timid (3) not accustomed to interacting much with women.

Women are usually more adept at noticing someone who's sizing them up. They are also much more subtle when it comes to checking out men who catch their eye.

Now, catching someone staring or looking at you multiple times are usually tell-tale signs that you are being checked out. When I catch a woman doing this, I immediately know that I strike her fancy.

The bottom line is that most of us do care about looking good for other people, and we appreciate any looks or compliments we receive; they serve as positive reinforcement to continue doing it.

Many people will argue that the only attention they care about getting is that of their partner. That may be so, but many people still try to look snazzy while out in public, whether or not they're accompanied by their partner. It's gratifying to get complimented for our physical appearance by someone who isn't our partner, as much as we'd like to deny it.

Again, how others perceive us matters to us. We'd prefer for other people to think of us as sharp and good-looking, not unkempt and unattractive. No one can deny it: Being checked out feels awfully good for both sexes.

Let's be realistic. We all find people outside our relationship or marriage to be attractive -- it's only human nature -- and every so often will check someone out. As long as you're not being overly conspicuous when you do it, I don't see a problem with looking and admiring.

Do you agree?

Please comment on this post and share it with your friends. And don't forget to check out previous posts here, in case you've missed any: How to Understand People

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