Have you noticed that you no longer have anything in common with many of the friends you went to school with?
Have you noticed that the sexual passion that pervaded the early stages of your relationship or marriage has died down in recent years?
As alluded to in earlier posts, relationships change over time. The friend you met in high school or person you married after college may not remotely resemble the individual he is today -- and the same goes for you.
The early stages of a relationship, particularly when both people are still getting to know each other, are generally the steamiest and most exciting. Once the relationship matures, especially post-marriage and children, that intense passion dwindles and gives way to a bond grounded in companionship.
Relationships and friendships evolve, just like the people in them. It's unlikely you'll be hitting up bars and nightclubs in your 50s like you did in your 20s. Children change the whole dynamic of a relationship -- no longer can you wake up at noon and bolt to a party or movie theater as you please. When a couple assumes the role of parents, their own interests take a back seat to the needs of the child.
But just because changing life circumstances alter our relationships doesn't mean they're doomed. Flexibility and openness to change is key. For example, if your friend gets married and has a kid, you should be willing to go out with all of them as a gesture of good faith -- even though it'd make a vast departure from your college "boys nights." If your wife has taken up new hobbies in the later part of your relationship -- ones she showed no interest in when you started dating -- why not try them out for yourself?
Relationships ebb and flow, wax and wane. It's a normal part of life. If you find one particular friendship or relationship not working for you, talk it over with the other person. If all else fails, it's time to sever ties and move on.
Have you noticed that the sexual passion that pervaded the early stages of your relationship or marriage has died down in recent years?
As alluded to in earlier posts, relationships change over time. The friend you met in high school or person you married after college may not remotely resemble the individual he is today -- and the same goes for you.
The early stages of a relationship, particularly when both people are still getting to know each other, are generally the steamiest and most exciting. Once the relationship matures, especially post-marriage and children, that intense passion dwindles and gives way to a bond grounded in companionship.
Relationships and friendships evolve, just like the people in them. It's unlikely you'll be hitting up bars and nightclubs in your 50s like you did in your 20s. Children change the whole dynamic of a relationship -- no longer can you wake up at noon and bolt to a party or movie theater as you please. When a couple assumes the role of parents, their own interests take a back seat to the needs of the child.
But just because changing life circumstances alter our relationships doesn't mean they're doomed. Flexibility and openness to change is key. For example, if your friend gets married and has a kid, you should be willing to go out with all of them as a gesture of good faith -- even though it'd make a vast departure from your college "boys nights." If your wife has taken up new hobbies in the later part of your relationship -- ones she showed no interest in when you started dating -- why not try them out for yourself?
Relationships ebb and flow, wax and wane. It's a normal part of life. If you find one particular friendship or relationship not working for you, talk it over with the other person. If all else fails, it's time to sever ties and move on.
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