When you always try to please others, some of them come to expect it and may develop a knack for taking you for granted. Before you know it, one favor becomes two, or three. You're lending people money even though it may cause you some financial distress. You're giving others rides even though you have your own errands to run. We all like helping others because not only does it feel good, but many of those people have been there to get us out of jams as well. But there comes a point where we simply have to learn to say "no." We can't always put others' needs and wants before our own. We have to remember that we're entitled to happiness just as much as our family, friends, and colleagues are. We have our own set of problems and priorities to deal with. It is, after all, our lives. Being a good person means being there for others when they really need you. It doesn't mean being at their beck and call, especially when it concerns trivial matte...

Want to be happier in your life? Here's a strategy for achieving it: Strive to achieve balance . You might be asking, "Balance what, exactly?" Good question. Happy people strike a healthy balance between setting goals and appreciating what they already possess or have achieved.  Look, there's nothing wrong with being ambitious. Some of us already have the next goal in mind even before we've achieved the present one. Whether we aim to lose weight, start a business, get a master's degree, or climb Mount Everest, setting goals keeps us motivated. Many people feel that if they have no goals in mind, they're just settling, thereby inhibiting their own growth. But it's important not to lose sight of how far you've come. Unfortunately, some individuals are never content. They view everything (and everyone) in their lives as disposable, and they find themselves unable satiate their hunger for a more challenging job, a bigger house, a prettie...

Sometimes we need to extricate ourselves -- even if temporarily -- from others' drama and negativity. We need to wriggle free of adversity we may be confronting at work, home, or elsewhere. Our well-being depends on it! So how exactly can we do this? It depends on whatever it is you like -- whatever it is that drives you. Perhaps nothing spells relaxation like losing yourself in a good book during your lunch break before heading back to your desk. Maybe you recharge by taking a leisurely stroll in the park after work. You may notice that you haven't taken a vacation in almost a year and yearn to get away from it all -- whether that means sunbathing in the Caribbean, skiing in the Alps, or exploring historic attractions in Washington, D.C. Or maybe a spa weekend that includes a rejuvenating massage or stress-melting sauna session is just what the doctor ordered. No one says that relaxing has to carry a big price tag. For some people, putting the phone down and ...

Anyone who contends that cheating is a mistake and not a choice probably cheated on their partner at one point, and their assertion is a convenient way to excuse their unseemly behavior. NOTHING can justify cheating. Not drinking. Not a stressful job. Not a broken relationship. If one cheats, he or she should own up to it. Whether their partner forgives or takes them back is their call, but chances are they will not. But who can blame them? And using the tired alibi that you were unfaithful in a moment of weakness (e.g., someone came onto you) is downright ludicrous. Cheating and lying are intentional choices. Human beings are endowed with the willpower to resist such temptations if they should arise. Cheating is a deliberately choice not to tap into that willpower. A mistake, on the other hand, is something that happens accidentally. You twist your ankle playing softball. You forget to mail this month's rent payment. You drop and break your child's favorite mug. You ...

Whenever we fall into a rut, we may be tempted to "escape" to the past -- a time, our minds tell us, that was surely better than the present. But don't give in or you might sink into a depression! Reminiscing every so often is healthy. We've all taken part in wonderful experiences we can -- and should -- look back on fondly. And if we're lucky, we captured such unforgettable moments in pictures and videos, which certainly heighten the nostalgia. But attempting to run away from the problems we face today by living in the past certainly doesn't solve them; in fact, it can exacerbate them. So why do people seek refuge in the past anyway? Because the past is safe.  We already know what happens. Whatever issues we grappled with then have already been resolved -- as opposed to now, where we don't know exactly what will happen in the future. The mind has a way of tricking us into thinking that things were a lot better in the old days than they are n...

Have you noticed how often we tend to dwell on little things that, in the grand scheme of things, are not all that important? One thing is to worry about a health issue or whether you have enough money to put food on the table for your family tonight. Another is worrying about small stuff we have little to no control over. Here are a few examples: Whether the panel you interviewed with for a new job thought you seemed too interested -- or not interested enough Whether your date noticed you had a small hole in your shirt  Whether your friend is losing interest in hanging out with you because he doesn't seem to call or visit like he used to Most of the things we agonize over can be investigated or resolved with a quick call or email. When you worry so much about things over which you have no control, it builds anxiety, which can adversely impinge on your happiness and well-being. Let things be. Once something has taken place, you don't get a "do over....

Just the other day, I came across the following quote: "Make sure everyone in your 'boat' is rowing and not drilling holes when you're not looking." In other words, know your circle. Familiarize yourself with the company you keep. Not every person who smiles at you and tells you nice things is your friend -- let alone someone in whom you should confide your biggest secrets. As I've stated in recent posts, some people are masterful at faking it. They're pretenders. It's not always easy to distinguish genuine people from fakers, but one of the telltale signs is when their actions don't seem to mirror their words. For example, in the workplace they may claim to be working hard, but that might not jell with the fact they're always trying to leave early or dump their work on subordinates. Then there are those friends who say they care about you, but never seem to spare a moment to call you or reply to your texts. Again, when what peo...

We've all been on terrible dates we have etched in our memory -- ones we wish we could undo with one snap of the fingers. When it comes to things that turn people off on dates, many people would agree that these rank pretty high on the list: 1. The person can't stop talking about themselves. They blather on about their car, job, or neighbor's cat, and you can't seem to get a word in edgewise no matter how hard you try. A person who's this self-absorbed and inconsiderate, needless to say, is not relationship material and should be weeded out. 2. They have bad manners. The first turn-off mentioned certainly falls into this camp. Beyond being a blabbermouth, the person might chew with their mouth open, look at their phone constantly, or flirt with the waiter/waitress. 3. They're argumentative. There's a fine line between putting your point across with conviction and trying to lock horns with your date just for the sake of proving you're right. 4...

The strongest people do what John Adams (1735-1826), the second president of the United States, advised us to do over 200 years ago: "Always stand on principle...even if you stand alone."  Put another way, Adams suggested that we stand up for what we believe in without ever giving in to pressure to change. Doing so isn't always easy, and few knew this better than Adams himself. For example, he was roundly criticized by his own party for trying to avert rather than push for war with France, which carried out a series of attacks on U.S. shipping between 1798 and 1800. Had he pursued the latter course, his Federalist party might have come out victorious in the Election of 1800 against Thomas Jefferson and the Democratic-Republicans, who sided with France. But Adams refused to let politics get in the way of his bedrock principles. His are words that we should all live by. While none of us want to ruffle people's feathers by not doing what they want or not th...