It's inevitable: Sooner or later, the intense passion that characterized the beginning of the relationship will start to dwindle.
Little things you once thought cute about your significant become a source of annoyance. The end of the so-called honeymoon phase ushers in reality, when both people's flaws are in full view and you actually have to put in effort to sustain your partnership. Gone are the days when love notes and makeout sessions had you on cloud nine and little else mattered.
Once couples have to reckon with this natural phase of an aging relationship, some -- especially those who have been together a long time -- quickly panic, taking this to mean the relationship is on its last legs.
But this isn't always the case.
A relationship is only as strong as the effort BOTH partners put into it. This means that, yes, a 10-year-old relationship could actually be healthier than a 10-month-old one.
So what exactly is the secret sauce to keeping a relationship exciting and vibrant? Read on to find out.
Mind you, just because you follow these tips to the letter doesn't mean you won't have your occasional ho-hum day sprinkled in between.
Between work, children, chores, and other responsibilities, it's unrealistic to expect people to spend all their energies focused on keeping their marriage or relationship humming along.
But it's also far too easy to shunt the relationship aside and not invest in it. This is where the trouble begins. Partners may blame one another for the relationship woes, give each other the cold shoulder or, worse, be tempted into straying.
Metaphorically speaking, if you don't water a plant, it dies. If you don't maintain a car, it won't function properly. Relationships are no different.
So what can you do to keep the spark alive -- to ensure the relationship stays strong even after you know your partner like the back of your hand?
It's to inject spontaneity into your relationship.
One of the reasons why people cheat in the first place is because they miss the early rush of a new relationship, when everything felt novel and wholly unpredictable. The "other man/woman" can often provide this sense of excitement.
While you can't step into a time machine, you and your partner can aim to do things together that you've never experienced before.
See if there are any new destinations you'd love to explore together. Maybe you've always wanted to go sky diving or water rafting. Perhaps you both wanted to take dancing lessons together, but never got around to it. Or, you've talked about learning a new language or how to play a musical instrument.
These are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to activities you can partake in to add a sense of novelty and adventure.
And note that they don't always have to be done in tandem. For example, maybe only you proceed to learn Italian, but by reporting back what you've learned to your partner, it still invigorates the relationship with something new and different. You can also teach them a thing or two. Your partner, for his/her part, might learn how to play the violin and in turn share their insights with you.
I recognize some couples may not have the means to, say, set sail on a cruise to the Caribbean tomorrow. Even trying out a different restaurant or going for a leisurely stroll in a park neither of you have been to before can add newness and spare the piggy bank in the process.
What's more, you can always relive those earlier times through pictures and videos captured over the years, which may help strengthen your bond. Perhaps you'd like to dine together where you had your first date, this time bringing your child along (which will obviously make for a different experience).
Without a doubt, partners have to be intentional about fortifying their relationship with variety and spontaneity or they risk seeing it go up in flames. From date nights at unfamiliar locales to trips (even staycations) to fresh hotspots, these efforts can go a long way in rekindling the flame.
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