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1 MAJOR dating trap to avoid

Couple on a date

When I was young and knew little to nothing about dating, I thought that pouring my heart and soul early on would somehow make the objection of my affection feel similarly toward me.

Unfortunately, after a couple of failed attempts, I realized this approach was doing the exact opposite: repelling the girls and landing me in the dreaded friend zone. 

Heaping compliments and gifts on someone not long after you've met them communicates -- often unwittingly -- that you're desperate. 

Expressing such intense feelings right out of the gate not only puts a world of pressure on the other person, but it gives them little time to get to know you. 

No one is going to be head over heels for someone who makes them their universe, who worships the ground they walk on, after only a few dates. 

Understandably, they might question how you can be so smitten when you barely know them. 

Chances are they won't buy it and will assume you're either trying to woo them into bed or use them for money. 

Indeed, coming on so strong, so quickly, all but decimates the mystery that attracts partners to you. 

I'm not suggesting you try to be someone you're not, or that you assume being rude or constantly unavailable will score you brownie points.

Such juvenile games have no place in relationships -- at least not in mature ones. 

But that doesn't mean you have to unpack your feelings and life story before you've barely gotten the chance to learn the person's name.

Keep the allure going by giving them bits and pieces and leaving them yearning for more. But calling them your soulmate after a week might scare them off more than anything else. 

For example, you can conclude the first date by revealing that you have an unusual career or hobby, but not revealing what it is until the next date.

Not only does it keep the person wondering, but it gives them an added incentive to see you again. The guessing is bound to drive them bonkers.

Wait at least a few months to broach the topic of love and feelings.

You want to convey that, yes, you're ultimately interested in a serious, committed relationship, but that you're in no rush to get there. 

The chemistry needs to build naturally, and that takes time. In the interim, try to loosen up a little and have fun getting to know one another. 

Pick each other's brains on everything from hobbies to values. And when your gut signals that it's the right time to discuss your future together, lead the way. 

Trust me, you'll have enough time later on to ponder the serious stuff. For now, revel in the so-called honeymoon phase. 

Be unpredictable, at least in the beginning. It'll capture the other person's interest and set you apart from other potential suitors bending over backwards for his or her approval. 

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