We can all attest to being in some pretty lousy relationships.
While it's normal to fall out with someone and go your separate ways (hopefully in an amicable fashion), some relationships border on abuse, dishonesty, and neglect. Sometimes both individuals are to blame. But oftentimes, only one person is on the receiving end, and they've done absolutely nothing to deserve it.
People sabotage our trust in and love for them by doing these 3 things:
Remember that trite saying we learned as kids? That sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you? Yeah, that was pure bunk. Insults can leave lasting scars, no matter how hard we may look to deny it. One reason so many people sink into a deep depression is because of the emotional damage inflicted by parents, peers, or others in their own circle.
2. Lying to us. Dishonesty eats away at a relationship, undermining the trust we have for people and weakening the bonds we share with them, sometimes irreparably. I've made no bones about my disdain for cheating in prior posts, and that's because there is no excuse to justify it.
2. Lying to us. Dishonesty eats away at a relationship, undermining the trust we have for people and weakening the bonds we share with them, sometimes irreparably. I've made no bones about my disdain for cheating in prior posts, and that's because there is no excuse to justify it.
But lying doesn't have to be so egregious in nature. Merely withholding information from someone (e.g., not telling your partner of the deep emotional connection you still have with your ex, or neglecting to inform your friend that you snagged $20 from their car) is treading on dangerous ground. Honesty is always the best policy. It's better to be upfront than risk being caught later, which can mean even more deleterious effects on the relationship.
3. Taking us for granted. What can be as detrimental to a person's self-esteem as endless lies and corrosive abuse, you ask? Feeling as though their needs and feelings don't matter. Never seeing the other person voice or demonstrate their gratitude. There comes a point where we get tired of exerting ourselves for a relationship that has no future and a person who only sees us as an option.
If you find yourself subjected to any or all of these behaviors, you know exactly what you have to do. Walk.
You deserve better, and each hour spent with someone so toxic is time you can be investing in yourself and people who will actually provide the respect you deserve.
Whether you're afraid to cut ties because you've known them a long time, are hopeful they'll change, or feel pity for them, it isn't fair to assume the role of savior. We can't save anyone if they don't possess the willingness to rectify their mistakes.
Never allow yourself to be caught in someone's web of deception and malice. Free yourself of their venom sooner rather than later.
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