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5 ways toxic people try to control you

Toxic people

There are varied and various ways that toxic individuals may try their best to mentally and emotionally overpower you. 

This doesn't mean they all employ every single one of these techniques. But it's important to know what kinds of tools these deceitful folks keep in their arsenal so that you're ready to fight back.  

1. They try turning you into them. Misery loves company, and because toxic folks aren't happy with their own lives, they want that misery to rub off on others. And there's no greater satisfaction for them than to hold a firm grip over your emotions. If they know they've gotten the best of you and ruined your day, they know their ploy worked.

2. They use the carrot-and-stick approach. Toxic people love to combine a promised reward with a threat to take something away from you. For example, your boss tells you that a raise hinges on your working Saturdays and Sundays, and that should you opt not to come in on those days, you'll lose your job. Or, they can condition a plum job upon your sleeping with them.

3. They try turning others against you. These people are willing to go to great lengths to tarnish your reputation, whether through lies, gossip, or both. They aim to rally as many others behind them as possible in common cause. 

4. They pretend to be your friend. These people are masters at faking they care. They reel you in emotionally, then stab you in the back without hesitation. 

5. They refuse to sit down and have a talk. You take the initiative to propose a heart-to-heart, but they demur on the grounds that they have nothing to apologize for. 

Arrogant, selfish, intransigent, hurtful, wicked, insensitive -- these are all qualities that drive folks to be this way.

But you don't have to stand for it.

Even if they neglect to talk, make it clear that you won't allow anyone to disrespect or manipulate you. 

If that means reporting them to HR or filing a restraining order, so be it.

Everyone deserves the chance to be happy and lead a mentally and emotionally satisfying life. But with a toxic person in the way, that becomes virtually impossible.

Don't be their pawn. Stand up for yourself and make it clear they will hold no sway over your emotions. 

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