5 ways toxic people try to control you

There are varied and various ways that toxic individuals may try their best to mentally and emotionally overpower you.

This doesn't mean they all employ every single one of these techniques. But it's important to know what kinds of tools these deceitful folks keep in their arsenal so that you're ready to fight back.

1. They try turning you into them. Misery loves company, and because toxic folks aren't happy with their own lives, they want that misery to rub off on others. And there's no greater satisfaction for them than to hold a firm grip over your emotions. If they know they've gotten the best of you and ruined your day, they know their ploy worked.

2. They use the carrot-and-stick approach. Toxic people love to combine a promised reward with a threat to take something away from you. For example, your boss tells you that a raise hinges on your working Saturdays and Sundays, and that should you opt not to come in on those days, you'll lose your job. Or, they can condition a plum job upon your sleeping with them.

3. They try turning others against you. These people are willing to go to great lengths to tarnish your reputation, whether through lies, gossip, or both. They aim to rally as many others behind them as possible in common cause.

4. They pretend to be your friend. These people are masters at faking they care. They reel you in emotionally, then stab you in the back without hesitation.

5. They refuse to sit down and have a talk. You take the initiative to propose a heart-to-heart, but they demur on the grounds that they have nothing to apologize for.

Arrogant, selfish, intransigent, hurtful, wicked, insensitive -- these are all qualities that drive folks to be this way.

But you don't have to stand for it.

Even if they neglect to talk, make it clear that you won't allow anyone to disrespect or manipulate you.

If that means reporting them to HR or filing a restraining order, so be it.

Everyone deserves the chance to be happy and lead a mentally and emotionally satisfying life. But with a toxic person in the way, that becomes virtually impossible.

Don't be their pawn. Stand up for yourself and make it clear they will hold no sway over your emotions.

Comments

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...

How To Understand People

Search This Blog