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Never tie your happiness to this

Man walking and thinking

Ever heard the saying "It's not about the journey, but the destination"?

If don't allow ourselves the freedom to enjoy the ride -- even if we don't reach said destination when we want (if ever), happiness will always lie out of reach. 

That being said, we should never attach our happiness to outcomes. 

In other words, don't set your expectations sky high so as to set yourself up for disappointment in the event things don't work out as planned. 

We all want to have lifelong relationships, to have a lot of money, to have the perfect job.

While some people may be lucky enough to have one or more of the above, chances are you may hit snags along the way that prompt several detours.

Our lives will never be perfect. What we imagine in our minds doesn't always materialize, and that's okay. 

Though miserable at first, we may realize later that where we ended up was the vastly superior path. 

For example, your 15-year relationship may end abruptly. After processing what took place for several months, you might realize that the breakup was a blessing in disguise, especially when a wonderful man or woman waltzes into your life. 

The same goes for getting canned at a job, only to find an even better one later on.

Don't tie your identity to what you achieve. 

The company may close down any day. Your partner today isn't guaranteed to be "the one." Only time will tell. 

I'm not trying to sound negative or cynical here. I'm just trying to impress on you the importance of keeping your expectations at bay. 

Tell yourself that if it doesn't work out, fine. Any day now, you'll find something or someone more suitable for you. 

The outcomes you desire today -- a certain kind of partner, a particular type of job, may evolve over time. 

Instead of tying your happiness to outcomes (especially far-fetched ones), attach it to the broader values that drive you, the ones that get you out of bed. The causes you believe in. Your bedrock principles. 

That way, even if you lose your job or part ways with your significant other, your happiness won't be interrupted. Learn to see the big picture. 

While I'm all for sticking to goals, don't get bogged down when your expectations aren't met. All you can do is give it your all and keep moving. 

But again, remember not to get so worked up over reaching the finish line that you forget to enjoy yourself along the way.

Visualize the end goal, yes, but don't make it the be-all and end-all. 
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