Online dating has become the rage over the last 10 or so years. We've all seen commercials for sites like match.com and eharmony.com touting how they've helped countless people find true love.
While many of these couples state that they didn't actually fall in love until meeting in person and going on a few dates (which makes sense), others assert that they knew they were in love after merely a few conversations via the web.
Is this even plausible?
My take on it is that you can't fall in love without actually seeing and interacting with someone in person first. If it feels like love following a conversation or two online, then you must be falling in love with the idea of being in love.
We don't get a good sense of someone - their gestures, mannerisms, demeanor, and more - without seeing him face to face. How do you know the person you're talking to is really a blonde 38-year-old divorcee from New York? For all you know, it could really be a few teenagers playing a cruel joke. Plus, you can't rely on pictures, as those could be phony.
During my college years, I met a couple of girls in person after having spoken to them online. Not only did they act differently in person than they did in cyberspace, but they had lied about certain things (e.g. they were heavier than they looked in pictures sent prior to the meetings).
Why does this happen?
Everyone puts their best food forward when meeting someone for the first time. This is especially the case online, where people have the luxury to think through everything they're saying. Since all both parties have to go by is text entered into an IM or chatroom, it's a safe bet they're going to do their best to hide their flaws (whether physical or otherwise) and present as unblemished a portrait of themselves as possible.
This leads both people to idealize one another, and sooner or later they convince themselves that what they're feeling must be love.
If you were in the market to buy a car and came across a guy in a car chatroom who offered to sell you his, would you feel compelled to buy it based on that guy's glowing description of the vehicle alone? Of course not -- you would want to see it in person to make sure it lives up to the hype.
The same reasoning applies here. A person can think she is in love after only having chatted with the guy online, but she won't know that for a fact until she can see for herself whether the guy is really who he says he is.
If the pair wishes to take their online friendship to the next level, they should attempt to meet in person as soon as possible. That way, should the chemistry not be there in person, they can move on with their lives and not waste any more time and effort in something that does not suit one or both people.
While many of these couples state that they didn't actually fall in love until meeting in person and going on a few dates (which makes sense), others assert that they knew they were in love after merely a few conversations via the web.
Is this even plausible?
My take on it is that you can't fall in love without actually seeing and interacting with someone in person first. If it feels like love following a conversation or two online, then you must be falling in love with the idea of being in love.
We don't get a good sense of someone - their gestures, mannerisms, demeanor, and more - without seeing him face to face. How do you know the person you're talking to is really a blonde 38-year-old divorcee from New York? For all you know, it could really be a few teenagers playing a cruel joke. Plus, you can't rely on pictures, as those could be phony.
During my college years, I met a couple of girls in person after having spoken to them online. Not only did they act differently in person than they did in cyberspace, but they had lied about certain things (e.g. they were heavier than they looked in pictures sent prior to the meetings).
Why does this happen?
Everyone puts their best food forward when meeting someone for the first time. This is especially the case online, where people have the luxury to think through everything they're saying. Since all both parties have to go by is text entered into an IM or chatroom, it's a safe bet they're going to do their best to hide their flaws (whether physical or otherwise) and present as unblemished a portrait of themselves as possible.
This leads both people to idealize one another, and sooner or later they convince themselves that what they're feeling must be love.
If you were in the market to buy a car and came across a guy in a car chatroom who offered to sell you his, would you feel compelled to buy it based on that guy's glowing description of the vehicle alone? Of course not -- you would want to see it in person to make sure it lives up to the hype.
The same reasoning applies here. A person can think she is in love after only having chatted with the guy online, but she won't know that for a fact until she can see for herself whether the guy is really who he says he is.
If the pair wishes to take their online friendship to the next level, they should attempt to meet in person as soon as possible. That way, should the chemistry not be there in person, they can move on with their lives and not waste any more time and effort in something that does not suit one or both people.
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