Skip to main content

Relationships: Can we find love online?

Judging from the countless married couples who first met online, the answer is a resounding yes.

Using the internet as a means through which to find love definitely has its perks. You can zero in on suitors who share the same interests as you (reading, hiking, etc) and preferences (Christian, no kids, smoker). It's easier to weed people out online, where users are normally asked to fill out profiles indicating their hobbies, information about their job, etc.

Sure, people can lie whether in person or cyberspace, but I have found it can be easier to "pre-screen" others online based on the information provided.

There are pitfalls, however, to meeting people online. If there's too long a lag between the time you meet online and the day you meet in person, you may begin to idealize the person you're talking to.

Since you have incomplete information, you begin to fill in the gaps on your own: You assume that if the person comes across as fun and interesting in writing, he or she must be the same way in person.

If you can't meet up in person right away, I urge you to at least exchange pictures from the get go. The last thing you want to do is create a picture in your head of how that person looks, only to later discover that he or she looks nothing like that.

So, can a person fall involve with someone she meets online? Absolutely! But I advise you to arrange an in-person meeting as soon as possible so as not to romanticize the other person because of incomplete information.



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually.  Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker.  Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar.  When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...