Don't regret past relationships

There's no sense in regretting prior relationships that ended badly. What's done is done.

Sure, in an ideal world, we would all see our relationships end amicably, with our exes becoming trustworthy friends.

But parting on such favorable terms seldom happens.

After a relationship goes down the toilet, people tend to have thoughts along the lines of:

"I wasted so much time on that guy."
"I knew Sue wasn't right for me. I could have been with Joan all this time."
"It was a mistake to have ever even met Tim."

This kind of thinking is conducive only to anger and bitterness. You won't resolve anything by trying to rationalize the reasons why things went awry.

And even checking off all the things you did right and your partner did wrong won't repair the relationship.

There are some special circumstances where a person might have cause for loathing their ex and wishing they'd never crossed paths (e.g., he or she was abusive, committed crimes, etc.)

But if it's a matter of lamenting lost time with someone you ultimately weren't suited for, it's not worth dwelling over anymore.

As I've advised in prior entries, learn and let go.

Why lament something that, in the end, taught you a bevy of valuable lessons?

Chances are, you now have a clearer idea as to what you seek in a partner. Maybe you thought you could tolerate someone who's extraordinarily messy or financially inept, but your ill-fated relationship proved otherwise.

In addition, you have a better grasp on the things you as a partner can improve upon for next time.

Perhaps you could work on becoming a better listener or not taking things personally all the time. In other words, assess your partner's complaints about you and see if there was a kernel of truth to any of them.

No one likes seeing a relationship go kaput, but instead of cussing out the ex, leverage the lessons you learned into the next romance that comes your way.

And if your ex hooks up with someone before you do, don't wish them bad luck or aim to sabotage the relationship.

Focus on your own path to happiness. Believe that you'll find someone even better than your ex, making you glad that the relationship didn't work out in the end.

Breakups can sting a great deal, but they can also end up making us better, happier people.

Learn from the past, leave it behind, and move ahead -- or you might miss out on opportunities to meet Mr. or Ms. Right!

Comments

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